Second Chances
by Sunset of the South
Summary: (Slightly new title) : Light-kun was brought back fron nothingness by somebody we all know and love. But what will happen after he starts regretting his past life? A story about Light s and L s feelings for each other and about fighting for the ones you love.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

_**Disclaimer: I don`t own Death Note... *sighs dreamily after Lawliet***_

A/N: Okay, this is my new story. Since it`s my second, and I still haven`t finished my first, please be gentle with me. Basically, it`s about L who tries to make Light suffer, like he did. But will love blossom? c: Hope you enjoy, and hope you can review. :)

'_Itai…'_

This was new. In nothingness, you can`t feel anything at all. All your needs, wishes, emotions or thoughts are erased, and you become an entity in a black void. But this was new. I was hurting, badly. My body was on fire, my back ached, my hands were bleeding, and my head was throbbing.

I slowly opened my eyes. I certainly wasn`t prepared for this. Sure, my eyes hurt a bit, but I was sure it was not an illusion. I was chained to a metal table, somewhere in a cell.

Another spasm of pain shot through me body, making me arch my back. Not a good idea. My hands touched the chains, therefore cutting me more badly, making the blood drip from them slowly, forming a puddle on the table.

Blood. Table. Chains. This looked familiar, and a déjà vu sentiment kept nagging me.

The cell door opened slowly, letting the cold air hit me forcefully. I closed my eyes and gritted me teeth. Whoever was doing this, he had a reason. And I was not going to play for them.

Yagami Light is no one`s toy.

'_Yagami…Light…'_

'_Kira.'_

This was not good. If coming back to reality from the nothingness was scary, this was downright frightening. I was the Legendary Kira. Memories from my past came rushing to me, making me groan in pain. Me writing in that damned notebook. Me plotting against the criminals. Me pretending to be a normal student. Me feeding Ryuk with apples. Me killing Rem. My family. My friends. Misa. Near. The last meeting. L.

'_L?'_

My head was throbbing in pain, and I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes. I killed the Legendary Detective L. It was a dirty trick, making Rem kill him and Watari, so in the end, Rem died. And it was even dirtier to pretend to give a fuck about it.

When he died, he looked so vulnerable. He was like a little kid, cradled in my arms, panda eyes wide and lips slightly parted. And I grinned at him, like a stupid, insane clown. Recognition shot through his eyes, and then his eyes closed and he fell limp in my arms.

I killed L.

And with what price?

My sanity and my brilliant mind. I started making mistakes. L was not there anymore, ready to crouch in front of me and accuse me. So I started making mistakes.

My biggest mistake was at the last meeting. I gave Near everything he needed to accuse me. And then I was shot. Four times to be exact.

And I ran. Like a stupid coward, I ran. I didn`t even know where I ran. It was some bloody abandoned building, and I died like a nothing on it`s stairs. I was supposed to be Kami-sama of the New World. Instead of that, I died, my last memory of that day being L, sitting in front of me in his crouched position, with his thumb in his mouth.

I`m sure this time I was the one looking vulnerable.  
Finally the door was open, and the person entered the room.

I felt dizzy. This was not possible. This was downrig-…

"Hello, Light-kun."

"L?"


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

_**Disclaimer: I don`t own Death Note.**_

A/N: Okay guys, here`s my second chapter c: I liked how this one turned out. And I have the ideas for the next chapters. So, I wanted to ask you something, and if you can, answer me in your reviews. I was thinking about making this story dark until one point, than make it yaoi... reading yaoi is one thing, and writing is another thing, but if you want, just tell me... if not, we will just add fluff and stuff c: So, enjoy c:

Some would think I was childish and stupid. But I was no baka. My mind was a complex universe, and I solved thousands, if not millions, cases. I was supposed to be the most intelligent human being in the world. But I was not. And strangely, it didn`t bother me.

When Yagami Light killed me, grinning at me in triumph, I felt fear. For the first time in my short lived life, I feared something. And it was not the Death that I feared. I was scared for Yagami Light`s sanity. He won. But with what price?

Lawliet L. doesn`t lose. I simply miscalculated something along the path. And it killed me. Since my Justice was the right one, I obviously went in Heaven. Being in Heaven is not the greatest thing. It`s boring. My impressive way of thinking was wasting on nothing. I couldn`t solve any cases, and it was nagging me. So I sat down, like a nice panda, and waited. Somehow, I knew things were going to turn right.

And they did. Kami-sama accepted my request, and revived me, with the price of making Yagami Light, former Kira, to surrender, regret and fear. I am not a necessary revengeful person, but Kira was one case that ticked me off.

I was going to make Yagami Light regret he was born. Being in Heaven gives you special information, and I was sure Yagami Light was going to beg me to stop.

I entered the cell, and Light`s frail voice made me warm inside. This was how it was going to be. He was going to be little, vulnerable, regretful and desperate, and I was going to be the Justice.

"Hello, Light-kun."

"L?"

I had to smile. So he really didn`t know my name. This was nice. Of course I knew he put that Shinigami to kill me, still… my name was intact.

"How have you been? Long time since we last met, don`t you think?"

"How the fuck did you come here?! You were dead! I killed YOU!"

"Oh? And you were in nothingness. Looks like things change. Now, the percentage turned 100%. You were, and are Kira. But not for long. 50% that you will regret being born in one week."

"Shove those percentages up your ass L, I don`t give a shit!"

I am a patient person. But the percentages were part of my life. No one makes fun of my life. I slowly made my way to the table, and Light snapped his mouth shut with a click. Smart boy. What a shame that he was Kira.

I wasn`t one for physical abuse. But he asked for it. I punched him square into his face, hard enough to make him gasp for air, but gentle enough to not break his nose. I didn`t want to harm him physically. That was sick. I wanted to break him mentally. I wanted to make him plead for Justice. He was just a shadow, and the true light was going to come out and kill that shadow.

"I want to break you. I will slowly rip you apart, making sure you will suffer. I am a very patient person, but also I am revengeful. Just wait, Yagami Light."

I made my way to the door, slowly closing it, making sure that Light could see me until the end. He was going to pay for his murders. And this time, I was going to be the one to kill him.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

_**Disclaimer: I don`t own Death Note.**_

A/N: So here`s my idea. I`ll make some little stories about Light`s friends and families, meant to rip Light apart, and then, BAM, fluffiness and love for Light and Lawliet. Is it okay? Enjoy this chappie c:

He was insane. But who could blame him? I made him think the percentages were under 5%, only to 'befriend' him and plot his death behind his back. And Kira killed him. I spent nearly a year of my life killing people with cold blood, never once thinking about the consequences. And I succeeded. I killed them all. I don`t know how much time I spent in nothingness, but if my family is still alive, and my house is still intact, then in my room, in the second drawer of my desk, in the place where the Death Note was supposed to be was a little piece of paper. Not a piece from the Death Note, a merely piece of inoffensive paper. And the message on the paper?

'Watashi wa Kira desu.'

It`s not true. I want to scream to the whole world that I`m not Kira. I am just Yagami Light, a mere student who had the best grades in Tokyo.

It was not fair. Guilt started to rip me apart. Maybe L didn`t have to play brain games with me, the guilt and the resentment in me started to take roots, slowly engulfing me. It was frightening, listening to your own breath in a dark cell situated Kami knows where, but hearing your soft, ragged breath and feeling the blood pumped by your heart in your veins. I could hear my heartbeats. And it was killing me slowly. It was a curse. Nothing more. Wherever he was, Ryuk was enjoying this.

I was hearing my heartbeats. And the thousands of people I killed won`t be able to heart their heartbeats anymore. I treasure every 'thump' and every breath was music to my ears. It could, after all, be my last breath and my last heartbeat.

You never realize how much you love your life, until you lose it or you are forced to lose it.

The door to my cell opened slowly, and a slouched figure approached me. He was bare footed, like always, but something was different. His eyes.

His panda-like eyes were different. They always seemed so calm, collected and cold to the outsiders… but I was his 'friend' for a short time. And his eyes looked so alive then, with a small, determinate fire in them. They looked almost happy, almost lovable.

The changes in them made me shiver uncontrollably. His once warm black orbs were cold, ice cold, glaring daggers at me. But what made me want to cry and beg for forgiveness was the hatred and disappointment in them. L was disappointed in me. But who wasn`t?

"Shall we talk today, Light-kun?"

"…"

"I will take that as a yes. Do you wish to know what happened to Miss Misa Amane? To Misa Misa, your 'beloved' girlfriend?"

Misa. I almost forgot about the semi crazy, go lucky blonde. She was something else. She was like a ray of sunshine in my dark life. She was so small, so fragile. So vulnerable. Her parents died in front of her beautiful chocolate orbs, and she became some sort of a gothic girl, while still being a beautiful and successful model.

She was special. She was like a wild flower, making everybody fall at her feet.

She loved me with all her heart and I turned my back on her, while still using her.

I am sorry Misa, I promise that I will find a way to make things right, to see you aga…-

"She`s dead."

My trail of thoughts stopped abruptly. Misa was dead. But that wasn`t possible! The happy girl couldn`t be dead!

"Do you wish to know how she died? Or where did she go?"

"L, why are you doing this? Why are you…-"

"In the day you died, she took the last bus to the Big Tower, you know, the place which is the highest in the suburbs. She calmly climbed the thin ladder attached to the Tower. Do you know how many stairs are there? Exactly 2500. She climbed up calmly, softly. She sat on the roof for a while, singing some sad song about lost love, or that`s what I could hear. She thanked Rem for her time spent with her, and she prayed for you. Such a sweet little girl, wasn`t she? She looked once again at the sun that was slowly making it`s way down, and took a step forward. One little step, Light-kun. She fell exactly 2500 stairs, colliding forcefully with the ground. It was quite a sight, especially for the police and her fans. Do you know what was her last thought?"

"SHUT UP! SHU-…"

"_I'm coming for you, my dearest Light-kun._"

He left. The cell is once again cold, black and eerie. But this time, I have my thoughts, my guilt and my sadness to deal with. Misa was young. She had a life to live for. She had to revenge her parents, to make them proud, to make friends, to be a super model, to chat and laugh with Rem and to be by my side.

And now she was merely a smashed corpse in this world, and a shallow entity in nothingness.

Sumimasen, Misa Misa.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

_**Disclaimer: I don`t own Death Note.**_

A/N: Okay, I personally like this chapter, but if you think it sucked, let me know... okay? Hope you enjoy, and *gasp* Lawliet is feeling something! c:

Perhaps I am cruel and malicious. But the sick part of me enjoys seeing Yagami Light in pain. If Misa`s death brought him this pain and desperation, then the death of his friends and family will break him. And I will assist at his pain, being close enough to taste his self loathing, but far enough to let him drown himself in guilt.

I slowly make my way to the cell. It`s like a ritual. Waking up, eating some sweets, talking with Watari and going in the cell to make Light suffer. Watari was brought back along with me, the elder was too pure and devoted to leave me.

It`s cold down here, and it smells like death and remorse. I enjoy this smell. It makes Yagami Light dizzy and vulnerable. Maybe today I shall approach the subject 'friends'. This will do.

I slowly open the massive door, and enter the cell. Yagami looks like a corpse. His once creamy tanned skin is now even paler than mine, and he has large black bags under his eyes. So he can`t sleep. This is good. But there is one thing that tics me off. His eyes. Kira`s eyes. They don`t look evil and malicious anymore, but they still shine with life. His reddish coppery eyes shine, contrasting with his pale face. He doesn`t deserve to smile, or to live like a normal person.

I will personally kill that fire in his eyes. This is my goal, to make his eyes dull and lifeless. I want to break him little by little.

"I trust Light-kun slept nicely."

"…"

"Oh? The silent treatment? I am 92% that this will change. I have another story for you."

"I don`t want to hear any of it, so just turn around and go eat some cake."

"Ah, Light-kun, this is not nice, making fun of my sweets need. I wanted to enjoy telling you the story, but you ticked me off. Do you remember Aizawa and Mogi?"

His soft gasp made my lips curl slightly in a feral smirk. This was too good.

"After the last meeting, when Mogi found you on the stairs, dead, he lost his sanity. He turned around, pulled the trigger and shot Aizawa in his shoulder. Aizawa fell to his knees, applying pressure to the wound. Then Mogi smiled. Like you smiled to me when I died. He shot Aizawa in his other shoulder, in his right knee and in his abdomen. Aizawa was losing blood quickly. Then Mogi did something unexpected. His caressed Aizawa`s beard, the one he was so proud of. At the end of the gentle touch, he shot Aizawa between his eyes. It was a small impact, but it pierced Aizawa`s cranium and touched his frontal lobe, making him die instantly."

"Stop, L, I beg you, just stop…"

"Oh, Light-kun, I think it`s not possible. You don`t know how Mogi died."

"I don`t want to KNOW!"

"Tsk tsk. Not good. After he shot Aizawa, he looked like he remembered who he was and who Aizawa was. So he took Aizawa`s gun and shot himself in his right foot for four times, then he sat near Aizawa for exactly two hours. He looked at the sun, then at Aizawa, and finally, at your corpse. He arranged you hair the way you usually wore it, and caressed you left cheek. He told to your corpse that he liked you very much, and he respected you. He viewed you like a little brother, or a cousin. The he looked once again at Aizawa and shot himself. First in his abdomen, then in his shoulder, and after that in his forehead. The bullet pierced his cranium and hit his brain, killing him instantly, like Aizawa. Before he shot himself though, he took Aizawa`s hand in his. Friendship is a nice thing, don`t you think, Light-kun? I experienced it once. I met this boy, a very intelligent one, with his coppery eyes and brown hair. I think his name was Yagami Light, son of the Great Chief Yagami Soichiro. We were friends. At least I found Yagami-kun my friend. Then, once day, I found out that Yagami-kun was Kira. And he killed me. Friendship it`s nice while is lasts, don`t you think, Light-kun?"

I looked at Yagami after my short monologue, and the sight made me feel cold and lonely. Yagami Light was crying. He didn`t make a single sound, but his warm tears were falling rapidly down his cheeks, wetting his hair in the process, and falling on the table, making a small puddle. It was interesting, how the tears fell into the nearly dried puddle of blood and connected, making a new puddle of crimson.

The sudden urge to dry his tears and comfort him was like a slap. I was here, in this world, to punish him. I gritted my teeth and flee the room, shutting the door behind me. Something wasn`t right. I was beginning to feel something, though I couldn`t exactly put my finger on it. I needed some cake.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

_**Disclaimer: I don`t own Death Note.**_

A/N: Hellloooooo. c: This is just some short Watari POV chapter, but I just love the old man. he`s so nice, like a big bear ^-^. Enjoy c:

Personally, I don`t think Lawliet wants to break Yagami Light. When I took him to Whammy`s, I knew he was brilliant. But I could care less if he was a genius or a huge baka. It was his heart that attracted me.

His huge, golden heart. I think he has the Heaven in his chest. He seems so cold and passive to the outsiders… but I learnt to read him. He is like a child, even if he will be soon 27.

He didn`t have parents, but I made sure to fight to do anything to pleasure him, like a parent would do. I wanted to be his father, his protector, his teacher. I wanted to teach him how to smile, how to love and how to laugh. Instead, I let him do anything he wanted, thus making the best detective and a brilliant man. But he was so lonely.

He is insomniac. I should`ve at least been near him after he saw the people murdered. I knew he had nightmares after every photo, so he decided to stop sleeping. It was not fair. He was helping people with his whole heart, but with what price?

But Yagami Light is exactly the same. A brilliant soon to be man, that fights to integrate. He wanted to be like his father, he fought all his life to be the best, to make his father proud. He became cold and reserved, and when the Death Note was found, he thought that if he made a New World, a better world, he would impress his father.

It was all a competition. He didn`t even despise Lawliet. He didn`t want to kill him. But the years without true love made him see life in a new light. I can`t say I approve of his way of thinking about the New World, but I can say that I understand him, and respect him, and certainly forgive him. Many would disagree with me, because he ended my life, but looks like I`m back here, with my little Lawliet. And Yagami Light is slowly killing himself.

I certainly disagree with Lawliet, and it`s for the first time. Making Light suffer it`s even worse than being Kira. Being Kira was a curse, and it possessed Yagami Light, but deciding to make somebody suffer just to revenge something or somebody is even worse.

Lawliet entered the room, shut the door rather forcefully and crouched in his favorite chair, eating forcefully a piece of strawberry pie. This was not Lawliet. Lawliet was calm and gentle, but the man in front of me was nervous and panicked.

I cleared my throat to gather his attention.

"I think you should stop."

"Iie."

"You don`t see what you are doing to yourself. While hurting Yagami Light, you are hurting yourself. You slowly become a worse Kira."

He clenched his fists, dropped the plate on the table and flee the room. This wasn`t Lawliet. My clue? He left a delicious pie on the plate, and he didn`t take a bite.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

_**Disclaimer: I don`t own Death Note or any of the characters.**_

A/N: Another chappie c: Personally, I like Matsuda. He was a bit annoying, but in a nice way. This is very short, but I wanted to make Light hate himself. It will get darker and darker, and after the stories end, I think I will have some chapters in which Light is sort of insane, and after that fluffiness and stuff for Light and Lawliet. Oh, you still didn`t tell me about the yaoi (boyxboy) so tell me if you want c: Enjoy c:

The door to my cell opened today. L entered, slowly, making me wait for a new story about someone dear`s death.

Yesterday he told me about Aizawa and Mogi, and the day before yesterday he told me about Misa. I don`t want to hear another story. I don`t want to believe I made them die.

I want it to be a big nightmare, and I will just wake up, because I fell asleep while I was studying for my entrance exam for the University. I didn`t find the Death Note, and I was just a normal student. I wanted it all back, I wanted to be lonely, I wanted to be brilliant, I wanted to be cocky, but I wanted to be loved. I wanted to see Matsuda`s stupid face. Then it clicked. Matsuda.

"Ready for a new story, Light-kun?"

"It`s about Matsuda, isn`t it."

It wasn`t a question, it was a statement. But L seemed surprised.

"Hai, it is. Light-kun is still smart I see."

"Tell me faster. I want to know what happened to him."

Of course I wanted. I was such a baka to Matsuda. He was new, and he was nervous and a bit too dense, but he wanted to make peace and justice. He was always happy and hyper, and seemed to want to help everybody. He was always nice to me, always by my side, telling everybody that I was just 'Light-kun' not Kira. He wasn`t a baka. He was just too warm-hearted.

"Your wish my command, Yagami Light. After he found out you betrayed them all and killed your own father, and after he shot you, he lost it. He saw your corpse, and Aizawa`s and Mogi`s corpses, and left. Seems like he went to the docks, shot himself in the right knee, and jumped in the water. It was a cold night, Yagami Light. The water was freezing, and he died of hypothermia. Curiously, nobody found his corpse, looks like a boat hit him, and he was cut all over again. He is food fish now. Do you want to know what he wrote on his laptop the night before he found out who was Kira? '_Light-kun is my best friend. He is like my otooto. I am fortunate to have Light-kun near me.'_ I will leave now, I need some chocolate. Oyasumi nasai, Yagami Light."

And he left. It was sickening, hearing my heartbeat, while Matsuda was being eaten by the fish at the docks. I did this. I deserve to die. I think L is right. My sanity is sleeping between my fingers. He got what he wanted. I am broken.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

_**Disclaimer: I don`t own Death Note :(**_

A/N: I`m a monster. I killed Sayu-chan :( Writing in L`s POV is hard, he hardly shows something and I have to imagine it all, so I hope you enjoy c:

This was insane. I was 100% sure it was insane, and 92% sure that the guilt started to flow through me. It wasn`t supposed to be that way. I was supposed to make Yagami Light a mere shell of the once alive and evil Kira. I couldn`t tell him another story, not when I was out of friends. I didn`t want to tell him what happened to his sister or mother.

Watari was right. I was hurting myself, as well as Yagami Light. I bit into the gummy bear, beheading him. I was angry. No, I wasn`t, I was terrified. Terrified for Yagami Light`s life. But Yagami Light doesn`t deserve to die.

Sometimes I wonder if I will ever stop biting my thumb. It hurts, and when I am angry or terrified I bite it so hard that is bleeds. But it helps me relax, and think about my strategy.

Quietly sipping my very sweet coffee, I think about my next move. This started as a simple game, in which I was supposed to win, but now it was growing harder, like a chess game against a good rival.

I made up my mind. I had to tell him about his family, but I won`t be cruel. I will try to comfort him. Kami-sama knows I never had a family, but when Watari, the fatherly figure in my life, died, I was lifeless.

I slowly opened the door to his cell, and the once satisfying smell of death hit me with full force, making me cringe. It was now unbearable.

I had to turn my head from the heart breaking sight. Sure, I saw him pale like a corpse, and with big bags under his eyes, but now I won. His eyes were dull, lifeless, and he was staring at nothing. His chest was barely rising, and I wondered if he would die.

I cleared my throat to make sure my voice didn`t waver, and I made my way next to the table. I flinched a bit when I saw his wrists and ankles, dried blood framing his body. I tried to push the guilt away, but it came back full force, so I cleared my throat again.

"L, if you have to tell me a story, just start please. Don`t sit there and clear your throat, it`s making me sick."

I had to make sure not to lock eyes with him. His voice was so raspy and cold. I mentally shivered, and tried to plan out how to tell him. It was going to be hard. I wanted to comfort him, and make sure he doesn`t suffer. Then, it happened.

"Sayu died."

His body shivered and trembled uncontrollably, and his hands were trying to find something to grip. His eyes were now more red than brown, and his dullness was replaced by hurt, guilt and something I couldn`t understand.

"Tell me how."

Was he masochistic? His voice was strangled, and I was sure he was fighting back tears. I really wanted to be soft and caring, but instead, I told him his sister`s fate in a cold tone.

"After your father died and you didn`t return, your mother was informed that you were Kira. Sayu didn`t want to hear any of it, so she ran away from home. She didn`t have any money, clothes or food, and she didn`t want to go back home, to see the house in which she grew up, to see the door frame in which she always stayed to greet you. So she left. She became a prostitute, to make money and to manage to live somehow. She was in the car of her current client, when a Jeep collided with them, making her fly through the windshield of the car. But she didn`t die. It was grotesque. She hurt her head, broke her right arm and leg and injured her face, but she didn`t die. She slowly faded away because of the blood loss. From what I heard, her last thoughts were of you. She was praying for her onii-san."

I was cruel. I even stayed after the story, crouched in my position, biting my thumb and watching Yagami Light dealing with the news. He was broken. Tears ran quickly down his cheeks, and he continuously moved his wrists and ankles in despair, thus cutting himself and making a new puddle of blood on the table. It was heart breaking. I was currently biting my thumb and drawing blood when his soft voice interrupted me.

"Why."

"If Yagami Light could be more precise…"

"Why are you doing this? I understand I killed many people, though the majority was made out of murderers, robbers and others, but I killed Ray Penbar and his fiancé, and Watari and you. I agree. I am horrible, I deserve to die and I wish to die. But how can you talk about my little sister`s death with such coldness?! She was a child! She was innocent and naïve and soft and caring, and she died a horrible death! And what do you do? You sit there, biting your thumb, not giving a single flying shit!"

"Yagami Light is unaware of my feeli-…"

"Leave."

"…?"

"Onegai, leave me alone. I want to be alone, to mourn my little sister. Or at least turn your back, don`t stare at me."

"Sumimasen. Until next time, Yagami Light."

I was a monster. Closing the door didn`t help, because I could hear Yagami Light`s heartbreaking sobs and I could even imagine the way he cut his wrists and ankles again and again. I needed something sweet.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

_**Disclaimer: And I killed Sachiko-san :c I`m such a monster :( Anyways, Yagami-kun is dying. Or is he? Enjoy c:**_

Since I woke up in this cell, Watari came everyday to give me food, water, and to talk with me. If somewhere, up there, exists a Kami, onegai bless this elder. He forgave me, even if I took his life away. If Watari didn`t come after L told me about Sayu, I would`ve probably gone crazy.

It hurt. Knowing that it`s my fault my little sister didn`t have a chance to finish her studies, to hand out with her friends, to meet a boy, to make him her boyfriend, to age and to have a family. She was so little, just like a teddy bear, and she was clingy and annoying, wanting everything for her, and obsessed with that Ryuuga guy. And I loved her, with all my heart.

She always had a soft spot for me, and I think she was the only one that could get through my façade. She always knew what to say, and she was always there for me. But I wasn`t there for her when she was in pain. It`s all my fault Sayu came to this. Sumimasen, Sayu-chan.

I don`t want to eat anymore. I want to die slowly, painfully. If it`s starvation, then so be it. I want to vanish, to go in Hell and plead with the Kami`s to revive my friends and my family. I want to go back in time and leave that damned note on the road, or at least take it and burn it.

I don`t have any other friends, and my sister and father are dead, so today will be the last story day. Today I will find out what was my mother`s fate.

As on a cue, the door to my cell slowly opened, and L entered. He looked nervous. He never looked nervous before. Strangely, maybe before I died I would`ve enjoyed seeing him nervous, but now it made my heart break even more. That meant the story wasn`t going to be a bed time story.

"Onegai, tell me about my mother."

He stopped in his tracks and stared at me with those panda eyes of his. I think he was putting his percentages in order, trying to say how crazy I was.

"Sachiko-san died. After Sayu-chan left, your house was robbed and she was raped then shot multiple times. They left her die because of blood loss, and then turned the house to ashes. She was nearly incinerated, so the doctors incinerated her. They… took a look at her testament, and she said that she wanted to be incinerated and her ash was to be thrown in the wind. And that`s why they did, knowing there was no other relatives that could do that."

At least now I know that I killed them all. My heart throbbed in my chest, and a sudden pain shot through me for a few moments, only to be replaced by numbness. Ryuuzaki did it. He broke me, ripped me apart, made me want to die slowly and painfully. Then something happened. I smiled at no one in particular. I was finally dying.

I was`t sure if I was hyperventilating, or I was just gasping for air, but the air loss made me dizzy. My mouth felt like it was stuffed with cotton, and my body ached all over. I looked at Ryuuzaki, and I was shocked to find him trying to help me breath. I smiled at him. Then we locked eyes.

It was like the last time, only now I was dying in his arms. I didn`t even feel when he opened my chains and took me off the table, trying to escape the cell. He wasn`t going to make it, I could feel the coppery taste in my mouth. I was finally dying.

I smiled once again at him, and closed my eyes. And something in me throbbed. Before I passed out, I realized. I fell in love with L.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

_**Disclaimer: I don`t own Death Note :(**_

A/N: I just love Ryuk. He has to be the best character. Enjoy, and thank you for reading this far. Sunset of the South sends you virtual hugs :D

L was right. You could hear the bells clearly when you are dying. They were sounding so nice, so comforting. It was like a lullaby. It was nice. I wonder why L said he was sad that day. Sure, I was too, but the bells were so gentle.

_Flashback_

"_I am sad…" _

"_The bells were ringing all day…"_

"_You and I will be parting ways."_

"_Let`s go Light-kun."_

_End of Flashback_

I wonder if I died. I wonder if I will be able to see my friends and family one last time before I go back to Nothingness. I wonder I L will miss me. I will miss L. I won`t be able to see his panda eyes anymore. I will eventually forget everything in Nothingness, and once again become a sole entity. Maybe it wasn`t that bad. At least I knew what happened to my dear ones. And now I was finally being punished.

"Hyuk hyuk hyuk. Dramatic as always I see. Long time no see, Light. Do you have any apples?"

This…was not exactly what I expected to see and hear. Ryuk was in front of me, with that creepy grin of his plastered on his face, laughing maniacally at me.

"What do you want Ryuk?"

"Aw, c`mon, don`t be such a pussycat. Can`t an old friend visit?"

"We were never friends Ryuk."

"If I had a heart, you`d probably shatter it. However, I`m such a great friend that I will ignore you. I have a proposal for you."

"And that would be."

"Aw, c`mon, Light, you were so much fun. Do you have something shoved up your ass? Anyway, you can choose. Or at least this is what the Death Kami and the Normal Kami decided. You either die and become a Shinigami, or go back in time with all your memories, right before you picked the Death Note. You can choose if you pick it, or burn it. Simple as that. And sincerely, it would be more interesting and funny for me to see how your life would go if you don`t pick up the Death Note. Your friends and family won`t die, and you won`t become Kira. Don`t you think it`s cool?"

"Where`s the catch?"

"Why must you be so intelligent? The catch is that I can still visit you anytime I want, just because. And you have to work hard to meet L. If you don`t, you won`t meet him at all. Now, you have to choose, Light. If I was a stupid mushy shit, I would say 'choose wisely', but I`m not, so just choose something."

I certainly didn`t want to live with the burden of my dear`s deaths. But to go back in time, and risk to never meet Ryuzaki? It was risky. What should I do?

"Liiight, hurry up, I`m dying of boredom here."

Stupid Shinigami. Whining about nonsense when I have to decide my life.

"I choose to go back and repair it all."

"Finally you choose something like a big boy. You grow up so fast, I think I`m going to cry. Hyuk hyuk hyuk."

Maybe it wasn`t such a good idea. After all, I still have to see him. But before I could say anything, the bells stopped ringing and I was in the school`s yard, staring at the Death Note.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

_**Disclaimer: I don`t own Death Note...**_

A/N: This chapter is just to fill some blanks, and the next one is the same, but after that I can finally write the way I like it c: I promise to make them longer and to insert songs. Thank you for reading this far c: Enjoy :) And tell me what you think reviewing :)

"Hyuk hyuk hyuk. Will you pick it? Will you be Kira? Will you kill everybody? Will you give me apples?"

Baka no Shinigami. He was getting on my nerves. Here I was, with the world`s fate in front of me and he was sputtering nonsense. Baka.

"No. No. No. And certainly no."

"Aww, don`t be that way Light. We`re good friends. Now I have to watch you all your life and make fun of your pussycat`s decision, at least give me an apple to munch. Maybe if I eat something I won`t be laughing at you."

"So you`ve learned to blackmail? Interesting."

I gave him an apple and picked the Death Note, a cold feeling passing through my veins. Dread started to engulf me, and my control started to slip. My hands ached to write a name.

I mentally kicked myself. Here I was, granted a new wish, only to fuck it all again? I don`t think so. I pulled out a match from my backpack and gave fire to the thin piece of death. The flames were unusual, some sort of dark blue dancing across the cover, making the white letters of 'death note' bleed red.

Ryuk was behind me, happily munching on his apple. Didn`t he feel sad about his precious notebook? Or did he have more? He was a manipulating bastard of a Shinigama after all.

"Now that it`s gone let`s go back Ryuk. Okaa-san bought a lot of apples, and I think they will come in handy when I have to make you shut up, don`t you think?"

"Aww Light, you`re such a nice kid. Giving apples to a helpless, depressive Shinigami. Sweet. Now move your ass, I can`t wait to eat some more apples."

Rolling my eyes, I looked back at the pile of ash that once represented the world`s end. Now that the wind blew it, I was finally relaxed. I started to walk the familiar path to my home, when a black limo parked in front of my house made me stop. Ryuk`s infernal laugh made me shiver. This car was far too familiar.

I entered my house, calm as ever, and kicked my shoes off.

"Light-kun, is that you?"

"Hai okaa-san. Tadaima."

"Okaeri nasai. Now wash your hands and go to the living room, a friend of your father is there, I want you to entertain him."

"A friend?"

"Hai, and he`s so young! I think you will be good friends."

"How do you know, okaa-san?"

"I just have a feeling. Now, don`t stay there, wash your hands and prepare the tea. Oh, and Sayu is at her friend, Misa, so you don`t have to worry about her."

Looks like I will meet Misa Misa in this life. Now who was this friend? Young she said? Maybe Matsuda? I already have to be a better friend for him, so this will be a good start. Taking the tea-pot and the cups from my mother, I made my way to the living room. I nearly dropped the tea-pot right there and then.

On my couch, in front of a well-known laptop, in his crouched position and with his thumb in mouth was L, looking at me with knowing eyes.

"Hello, Light-kun. Long time no see."


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

_**Disclaimer: I don`t own Death Note.**_

A/N: This is the last short chapter c: Or I think so... Anyways, thank you for reading, and tell me what do you think about it. Should I continue? Or should I delete it? Arigato everybody :D

"A-ano… do you know me?"

Sometimes I wondered if it was all a stupid act. Of course it was, after all Yagami Light was a smooth talker. I was 92% sure he was pretending again, only to have the Death Note in his backpack. I won`t trust him again. If in the last life I died by his hand and forced to come back to punish him, I won`t take any chances now. I remembered it all, from the time I told him I was L, when we were in To-Oh University, until the time when I ran with him nearly dead in my arms.

"Of course I know you Yagami Light. We were _friends _in our last life, isn`t that true?"

"So you remembered ne? Well, it doesn`t matter. My friends, family and you are all healthy and safe. I destroyed the Death Note and I plan on not touching something like that all my life."

The way he said those words nagged me. I wanted to trust him, he seemed so relaxed, so…content discussing about the Death Note`s demise. But like I said, the Legendary L doesn`t take any chances this time.

"I don`t trust you."

The healthy color drained from his face, and he looked like in his last minutes in the cell; pale skin, trembling hands, dull eyes. I pulled my favorite food from my pockets: a box of little biscuit bears, the same I was eating when _Kira, _or should I say _Yagami Light_, killed me. I happily munched on them, glancing at the teenager. He looked even paler, if that is possible, making my skin look tanned and healthy in comparison.

"O-onegai, don`t eat those… b-bears…"

He looked so vulnerable and little, with his childish face contorted in pain, and dull eyes shining with tears. I only saw Yagami Light cry over his dear`s deaths, so this was new. I was 90% sure he was sincere this time, but my ration part won`t side with my heart. I won`t trust him, even if it hurt.

I bit my thumb, instinctively hugging my legs to my chest. It was like a shield from the world, and I felt safe snuggled in myself. My phone rang, and I picked it with two fingers, wincing inside at the desperate look Yagami Light gave me.

"Hai. Hai, I will be there shortly. Arigato Watari."

"_Come out of there, you are making the poor boy have a heart attack."_

"I`m coming. Sumimasen."

I packed my laptop and made sure to leave my biscuit bears on the table, as a reminder. I stretched a bit, only to come back to my slouched position. I made my way to the front door, making sure to thank Yagami`s mother for the tea, and put my hand on the doorknob.

"I heard the bells. I wasn`t sure if it was a wedding or a funeral. You are right, they really ring all day. Still, it was a nice tune."

"Sayonara, Yagami Light."


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

_**Disclaimer: I don`t own Death Note ^_^**_

A/N: I promised you longer chapter. *cheers* It`s still short, but it`s a new thing for me... Anyways, I needed L and Watari fluff and family love, and this came out. Oh, by the way, the song. It`s **IF YOU COULD SEE ME NOW - THE SCRIPT**. I just love it :* Hope you enjoy c:

I was L. I was the greatest detective alive. I was unique, bizarre, special, eccentric. I didn`t have an equal. My IQ was far too superior for the fools that surrounded me, except Watari of course. Then why couldn`t I explain the feeling that settled into my heart when I held Yagami Light`s body in my hands, before he died, before he chose to go back in time?

I couldn`t say I felt empty, because I was full. Full of hatred for his fate and his decisions, full of regret for cutting his life, full of sadness and despair, for knowing that I would never drown in his honey orbs again. But this was my fate, holding the teenager close to me as he breathed his last breath and blinked his last blink.

Then it all went black.

And here I was, with all my memories, with Watari by my side, back in time, before I started working on the Kira case. Then Chief Yagami called me, saying that he thought he had some bugs implanted in his house. Since when were we so close? This was probably another fate, because Chief Yagami was carefree and relaxed around me, like an old friend does.

My meeting with Yagami Light was…something new, to put in nice terms. I instinctively chewed my thumb. Old habits die hard they say. The image of Yagami Light when I told him I won`t trust him haunted me. He looked so…destroyed. He looked worse than when I told him about his dear`s deaths. The pain in my chest returned, but it wasn`t a physic pain. It was like a distant memory. In my last time I only experienced it two times. First when I realized I was alone, before Watari took me in, and second when I held Yagami Light`s dead body in my arms. It wasn`t disappointment, it was more like…helplessness, and hurt mixed with something I didn`t experience until now.

The world seemed almost too peaceful. There was no Kira killing murderers, and there was no need of L, not now at least. _No need of you, L. _The words rang through my head. I only dreamt about them before, a soothing, feminine voice whispering them. I couldn`t match the voice with a face, but I`m sure the voice broke on the last letter.

In lack of something to do, I turned on the radio. Big mistake.

_If you could see me now would you recognize me?  
Would you pat me on the back or would you criticize me?_

I never gasp. I just take a big amount of air too soon, thus making a strange strangled noise. I hated my moments of weakness, when I was normal. I wasn`t a big detective, or a brilliant being, I wasn`t even addicted to sweets. I was just a little kid, looking at an elder with soft eyes. I often wondered how my parents looked like. Were they even looking for me, trying to find out what happened to their unusual son? Would they recognize me?

_Would you follow every line on my tear-stained face  
Put your hand on a heart that was cold  
As the day you were taken away?  
_

Crying is a weakness. It`s just a complex secretomotor phenomenon characterized by the shedding of tears from the lacrimal apparatus, without any irritation of the ocular structures. But the medical definition never satisfied me, not completely at least. It had to do something with your heart, didn`t it? Of course it did. And I discovered it`s secret, like a big detective would do. Whenever you are happy or sad, you shed tears, because your heart it`s too weak to comprehend the big amount of feelings. It`s a weakness, and I always disliked crying. But here I was, crying over memories and uncertainties.

_So if you get a second to look down on me now  
Mom, Dad I'm just missing you now_

I always asked Watari about my parents, and he would always say that they loved me more than anything. It was the single case I didn`t resolve. The big detective failed to resolve the case of his parent`s whereabouts. I often wondered if they died.

_I still look for your face in the crowd  
Oh if you could see me now (Oh if you could see me now)  
Would you stand in disgrace or take a bow  
Oh if you could see me now (Oh if you could see me now)  
_

I didn`t know how they looked like, or if they were in Japan or in other countries. But it didn`t matter. I was positive I would recognize them without second thoughts if they passed me by.

The song ended, and I was again alone in my dark room, the only light being provided by the eerie light of my laptop. I felt strangely…content, having shed tears for no reason in particular.

My door opened, and there in the door-frame was Watari, frowning at my tear-stained face. I was feeling again like in that day, when Watari was holding my hand gently and I was in front of Whammy House.

He entered the room and hugged me tightly. I felt weak. But weaknesses are what makes you stronger, so I allowed myself to cry on the elder`s shoulder. Watari was my support. I sighed in content, cuddling with my only fatherly figure. He smelled like a strong man. He smelled like life, and sweets, and he smelled like a forest after the rain. I whispered a muffled 'thank you', knowing that he will hear it and take it to the heart. I felt my eyes getting heavier and heavier, and eventually I lost the battle, allowing me to fall asleep in the elder`s arms.

I felt content. Even if I didn`t meet my parents, have a perfect life or a normal life, Watari was there for me. I had somebody to lean on.


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

_**Disclaimer: I don`t own Death Note.**_

A/N: School starts soon, and I needed some action to this plot, and this came out. I didn`t go into detail, because I can`t think about Light doing that with somebody else than Lawliet. And someone`s back. **Awsomeangel, ShantelleUchiha and Jupita M, **thank you for your amazing reviews, I was like, 'Oh God, they really reviewed c:'. As for my mistakes in Japanese, I`m really sorry, I will refrain from using it so much, and I will double check. Thank you again, hope you enjoy c:

I still remember when I was handcuffed to L. I used to fake annoyance and to get into stupid fights just to have the reason to talk to him. Our little fights made my heart flutter in my chest, and it was a warm feeling that I wasn`t used to.

But one day, I hoped I didn`t open my mouth.

_Flashback_

'_Why is Light-kun complaining? It`s just temporary. Of course, that is if you are not Kira.'_

'_I am not! Do I have to make a banner or something, Ryuzaki? Because I will. How do you think I feel when you are constantly insulting me, insinuating that I am Kira?!'_

'_Yagami Light is overdramatic. It is simply to see if my percentages will raise or drop. You should feel blessed, unless you are too hypocrite.'_

'_Blessed for what?'_

'_For having the looks and the qualities necessary to integrate in society. You are a lucky person, Yagami Light. Don`t waste your qualities.'_

_End of flashback_

Oh, how I wanted to tell him how wrong was he. I wanted to tell him it was all a simple façade, an act. I wanted him to see through it all, to learn about my past, to understand me, to be there for me. I wanted him to hug me tightly and whisper comforting words. I wanted him to tell me I was finally accepted for real, that I was finally home. But he didn`t receive my silent message, and I didn`t bring it up. Then he died. And after that I was revived, and I died. And now I`m back, and the same moments I was running from keep repeating, making me wonder if it was a good idea, taking the second chance.

"Hey, freak! Come play with us!"

I ignored the crazed man. He was in his early thirties and he was clearly drunk. Ten years ago I would`ve run away as fast as my feet could carry me, but he wasn`t a threat. Right?

Wrong.

I should`ve run away when I had the chance. Instead, I continued walking. Big mistake, Yagami Light. First strike, come on, you have a chance!

The man was yelling at somebody, and I didn`t pay attention to him, continuing to walk. I could`ve at least pay attention to know I was in big trouble. Second strike, open your eyes Raito.

When I heard somebody stalking me, I should`ve run away with all my force, or at least yell for help. I could`ve at least struggle when a pair of arms grabbed me from behind, and another pair pressed at cloth to my nose. But I froze in fear, then dizziness engulfed me, and I stepped into the black void that started to surround me. Third strike, eliminated. Well played Yagami Light. You won a crazed kidnapper and a possible death sentence.

I woke up with my hands handcuffed behind me, and legs tied up tightly to each other. I winced in pain when my hands moved. Apparently the kidnapper thought I would struggle, and the handcuffs were extremely tight, biting into my flesh, making my wrists bleed continuously. Well wasn`t this just peachy? And my legs were in the same situation. This was wonderful. Oh wait, the cloth in my mouth was tied tightly, making my head throb in pain. This was getting even better.

What exactly was wrong with me? Why didn`t I fight for my freedom? And why was I so sarcastic, so carefree? I didn`t even know if I was going to live after the day ends!

All my inner turmoil quieted when the room`s door opened, cracking loudly and making my headache hurt even more. The mad man entered, wearing a creepy smirk on his face that made me think of Ryuuk. That made me wonder why the Shinigami was so quiet that day. Maybe he knew I was going to die and was happy to escape from my presence?

The man`s eyes made me shiver. He wasn`t sane. Okay, I already knew that, but the insanity was dancing into his eyes, making his black orbs shine with a devious nuance. His eyes never left my body, and I started to tremble when his gaze descended even more, to rest on my tightly pressed tights. He wasn`t normal, and his gaze poured dread into my veins, making my pulse accelerate and making my breath come out in ragged breaths.

Suddenly he came closer and closer, until I could smell his breath on my temple. I shut my eyes tightly and started to pray for whatever Kami was indulgent enough to save me, only to feel the man`s hands on me, starting to rip my t-shirt. Was that a knife he was holding? I was too afraid to open my eyes and look, so I decided to stay motionless, at least for the time being.

The man smelled like alcohol and smoke, and perhaps some drugs. It was making me dizzy and sick, and all I wanted was to crawl out of the room all my way to home and stay in my bed, under the sheets, away from the pain and fright. But all dreams come to an end, don`t they?

I gasped when the man removed my trousers, and with them, my boxers, and shouted in pain when he introduced his member into my backside. The man was moaning and pounding into me, and I was sobbing, unable to see anything around me. My cries died on my lips, and I fell limp in the man`s touch. My brain shut all the information and suddenly I felt lifeless. I was feeling like a shell, and for a second I thought I was back into nothingness, back into the comforting black void, only to be brought back by pain.

The man was drawing some strange patterns with his knife on my back. My screams were making him shudder, thus making him come into me. When he was certain I wasn`t going to move, he pulled his trousers up and grabbed my forearm, pulling me towards the door, through a dark hall, outside of the abandoned building.

He cut the ropes that were encircling my legs and unshackled me. With a last longing look he shoved me into the dark streets. I only had enough time to roll out of the way before a car drove by. I made a move to walk, but the pain was unbearable, so I started to quietly crawl away from the building. Apparently the man didn`t even followed me, he just stared at me before walking back into the building.

I sighed in relief when I recognized the area. I was only two streets south from my house, so I was safe. I continued to crawl, and when the pain wasn`t blocking my muscles I started to walk. I stumbled many times, but finally I reached my home. I tried to make as little noise as I could, and tip-toed into the bathroom. I started running the shower, making sure the water was not cold, but it`s wasn`t hot either.

I stepped into the shower, and hissed in pain as the water hit my wrists and ankles. I tried to clean me as best as I could, blinded by the tears that was running freely down my cheeks and still sore and stiff with pain and fright.

I had to bite my lower lip hard to keep from screaming when the water hit my back. Th water mingled with my blood caressed the white tub, leaving pink spots here and there. I was near passing out, when I stepped out of the shower. First thing first, I had to bandage my injuries. Turning my back to the mirror, making sure I could see clearly what I was doing, I narrowed my eyes, trying to see what the mad man carved into my back. What I saw made me scream in terror and pass out, hitting the white tiles of the bathroom. There, carved into my back was a letter I only saw in the most terrifying nightmares. It screamed of murder, hatred and dread.

Carved into my back was big _'B'_.


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14

_**Disclaimer: I don`t own Death Note.**_

A/N: Well, I`m back to short chapters, but just for a while. I needed to introduce Matt, Mello and Near, and the next chapters are going to be longer. I think this chapter is horrible, and I`m sorry about it, but I try to do my best. Sorry if you don`t like it. Anyways, enjoy c:

The sight made my heart clench painfully. I wasn`t sure if I was allowed to touch Yagami Light, but he looked so fragile and small… I wanted to cradle him in my arms and tell him he will be okay. I wanted to see his amber eyes, but mostly of all I wanted to see him smile. He looked so pale and exhausted, with his eyes closed and tubes attached to his body, the IV beeping continuously. It made me sick, seeing him like this.

I should`ve trust him when he said he wasn`t Kira. Maybe if I trusted him, he would`ve come with me, where he could`ve been safe. Was it my fault? Did Yagami Light resent me?

I was 50% sure he needed help, though it wasn`t medical. He was going to be scarred for life. Did I make him lose his sanity? Was Yagami Light going to isolate him from the world?

A soft moan stopped the trail of my thoughts; Yagami Light was awakening. Was this good? Should I search for a nurse? Should I search for his parents? His brows furrowed, and he looked ready to open his eyes, so I did the only thing I could think about; I flee the room.

I ran with all my might, hiding myself behind my knees, closing my eyes tightly to stop my tears from falling. I was a coward. I never really felt scared, except my previous life, when Light died, so I was disappointed in myself. I should`ve stayed in the room, make sure he wasn`t in pain, comforting him. Instead I was out, in an eerily quiet hall that made me dizzy with his whiteness.

Someone patted my back, and I jumped in surprise. A tall boy with brown hair and goggles embraced me tightly, making my eyes tear up suddenly. Matt was a grown up now. When did he become a man? Of course, his PSP was securely stuffed in his pocket, near his cigarettes and lighter, and his goggles were promptly put on his eyes; however he was different. So mature, so understanding.

Replacing Matt and jumping in my arms, only to sob heavily, was Mello. He sure was tall. His blonde hair was messy and unruly, and his signature dark leather clothes hugging his frame in an attractive way. He became a handsome man. Like Matt, he still was young, carrying his chocolate everywhere, and his cross and rosary clinging when he was moving.

After Mello jumped in Matt`s arms, continuing to sob there, Near came and hugged me gently. He was such a soft kid. He was slightly taller than last time, but still shorter than Matt and Mello, his grey, calculating eyes shining under the white bangs that adorned his frame. Smiling in a comforting manner, he joined Matt and Mello, ready to enter Light`s room.

They looked so sad for Light`s fate, so determined to help the teenager. I had to stop myself from asking why were they so warm-hearted; this was another world, and here Light wans`t Kira and the boys had a life ahead. I quickly explained the situation, and they seemed to ponder if entering the room to see Light was a smart move or a dumb one. There was a 50% percent chance to scare Yagami Light, but there also was a 50% percent chance to help him and comfort him.

I was ready to let them in, when Yagami Soichiro stormed into the room, closing the door after him and not sparing a single glance.

"Somehow, the old guy gives me a feeling that Light`s gonna` be even worse after his visit."

I had to agree with Mello. Something about the Director Deputy made me feel sick. I wanted to run away, to squeeze myself in a tight space and to stay there until Light was all better. I didn`t want to see him broken; I needed the happy teenager I met in my previous life. Somehow, Matt observed my uneasiness, and patted my back to give me strength. I smiled gratefully at him, nodding my head back. They were so young…I should`ve stay more with them, give them the childhood they never had. I was going to take Yagami Light with me in England, where I was sure he was going to be safe, and take care of my heirs. I won`t let them die again, not when I can help them.

Yagami Soichiro exited the room, shutting the door after himself with a loud _'BANG'_. There was a 70% percent chance that Light needed alone time, and only 30% percent chance that he needed somebody to lean on. Trusting my percentages, I made my way through the endless halls, with my heirs hot on my heels, ready to exit the dreaded hospital. I will make sure Yagami Light had everything he needs, I will ask Watari to take care of him. I needed to escape the morbid place, where everything was white and quiet. I needed to run away from my feelings. I was a coward.


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15

_**Disclaimer: I don`t own Death Note.**_

A/N: I just couldn`t resist! I mean, Matt is such a nice guy! He`s like 'I`m the tough one here', but I think he`s a softie. I just had to make him a nice character. And I`m sure the boy can help Light-o. I mean, they're the best! Hope you enjoy, I sure did enjoy writing this c:

"There`s no way in hell I`m leaving my chocolate out, you old hag!"

"Mister, I understand you need it, but you can`t take it in! A patient is in there, and we`re not sure if he`s allergic at chocolate!"

"Orokana onna! I need my chocolate, or I will throw a tantrum so big, that it will blow the roof of this white building!"

"Listen here, youngster, I am the nurse here and you can`t take the chocolate!"

"Watch me, you hag!"

Well, that`s Mello for you. Near was looking perplexed, and I had to chuckle at his shocked face. The albino was far too innocent. Mello continued to yell at the old nurse, and I was wondering if she was redder than a tomato or than a cherry. She looked like she was about to explode, so I stepped in.

"Yo, woman, Mello won`t leave his chocolate here, and I won`t let my PSP here. And I assure you the albino won`t let his plush here. So why don`t you let it go. You`re outnumbered, and while we are fighting here, our friend is in pain. So do your duty and let us in, will ya?"

She gaped like a fish, and I had to smirk. I was the best of the best, so the hag let us in. Mello`s chuckle died on his lips, and my smirk fell. Somewhere in the background I heard Near gasp.

"Holly hell…"

I had to agree with Mello. This wasn`t Yagami Light. Maybe the nurse tricked us or something? This man was far too pale, making L`s skin look healthy, and he had dark circles under his eyes. He was looking like some freaking zombie from the Walking Dead.

He opened his eyes, and suddenly the air in the room was suffocating me. Well this was Yagami Light alright. His eyes were the amber nuance I saw in his file, but they looked so…dull, un-Light-ish. L told me a while ago that he was a good actor, or something like that, but seriously, you can`t fake being broken. And the guy was shattered.

Clearing my throat, I realized I was staring, so I blushed and quickly sat on the chair near to his bed. He looked at me, then at Mello and Near, and motioned the remaining chairs. Well, he was a polite guy. Fixing my goggles, and clearing my throat, which I was doing a lot these days, I opened my mouth, only to close it with a click. I was sure I looked like a fish. What can you say to a guy that looks like a zombie, and is clearly broken? 'Hi, you look great!' or 'How are you? Was it nice?'. Yeah, right.

"Oh, for the love of Kami-sama, Matt, don`t gape like a fish. Heya Light, want some chocolate?"

Smooth move Mello. At least Near had the decency to blush and look away. Clearing my throat, seriously, was I catching a cold or something?- I took a cigarette and lit it. Inhaling deeply, I looked at Light. He was handsome. The guy was clearly well-built, and his eyes were a nice shade of amber and brown, though I was sure they looked incredibly with some life in them. His bangs were something else. Mello had blonde, sunny locks. I had brown-ish-red-ish hair, and Near had white hair – really now, white?! -. But Yagami had some sort of chocolate with honey-ish bangs. Really nice. I wondered if they were as soft as they looked.

"Matt, no offense or anything, but you aren`t supposed to smoke near a patient."

"And Mello isn`t supposed to eat chocolate, and Yagami isn`t supposed to be in hospital. Your point Near?"

"There is a 75% percent chance that Yagami Light will faint from the smell. Do you want to risk his well-being?"

"B-but…he looks well enough. And if it bothers him, I`ll stop. Does it botter you?"

"Iie. Go on."

Well, at least he told _me _three words. That`s good enough. I`ll make him talk, even if I have to pester him around. I wanted to see how his eyes looked like when they were lit by happiness. I was going to annoy him, to scare him, to make him enjoy himself, anything to have a reaction from him. He was too quiet. I didn`t like it. I wanted to hear him speak, even if it`s to ask for water, or if he has to take a piss. Well, that clicked something.

"Do you want to take a piece, Yagami?"

My smirk returned in full force when Mello choked on his chocolate and Near blushed at least twenty shades of red. Yagami started to sputter about nonsense, and I had to laugh. This was rich!

"Matt! What the hell! You can`t ask a guy if he wants to take a piss!"

"And why the hell not?!"

"Why would he want to take a piss with you?!"

"Are you insinuating something, _Jello?!_"

"Swot!"

"Chocolate-addict!"

"Foul-mouthed!"

"Do you even listen to yourself?!"

"Do you even look in the mirror?!"

"You should lose some weight, leather-boy!"

"You should stop wearing goggles, fishy!"

"Baka!"

"Sasu!"

"Short-y!"

"Tall-y!"

"Umm, guys?"

"NOT NOW!"

I yelled at the same time with Mello to the poor albino. I panted for a bit, our bickers took a lot of energy. But then a sound reached my ears, and I stopped breathing. I turned my head so quickly that I heard a loud _'crack'_, but I could care less. Yagami Light was chuckling. My shocked expression softened into a smirk. I was right! Yagami`s eyes look fantastic when he`s happy!

"SO, Yagami, about my piss offer…"

"Oh, c`mon Mattsy!"

Yup. I was sure we could help Yagami.


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16

_**Disclaimer: I don`t own Death Note**_

A/N: Well, Mello is nice too. And Light` bangs are ... so nice! Hope you enjoy, tell me what do you think about it so far. Thanks for reading it, I hope you like the way I write. Enjoy c:

Light was handsome. No, I _am _handsome, and Matt is too, and maybe Near…nah, the albino was more like cute. But Light was… handsome? Nope. More like beautiful. The way his bangs covered his eyes, the way his lips moved when he was talking. And, Saint Kami, his eyes. Well, I will have to express my gratitude to Matt when we`re _alone_. Those eyes were something far too beautiful for this world, shining like the best chocolate –yum- when he was happy. I wondered if his bangs were as soft as they looked. Maybe he will let me touch them.

"Light, can I touch your bangs?"

Oh, hell no! Tell me I didn`t ask that! Now what?! Shit, shit, shit! Great, now he probably thinks I`m a stupid stalker! I heard Matt chuckling behind me. Stupid asshole, laughing his head off… I was probably as red as the stupid hag from before.

Light cleared his throat and looked mildly amused. Another stupid asshole laughing at me. Pfft, why did I have to ask that aloud?!

"Sure."

Was he serious?! The guy was in a stupid hospital, in a stupid room, in a stupid bed, with two stupid teenagers –I was too cool to be counted and he was letting me touch his bangs?! Well, hell yes, I won`t lose this chance.

I touched his bangs and I had to marvel. What the hell was he using for shampoo? He has to tell me how to have such soft bangs. I kept caressing the locks and my eyes widened. Well, I`ll be damned. He really was beautiful. Even his lashes were long and probably soft. And his porcelain skin was just…perfect.

Matt kept chuckling behind my back, but I didn`t give a damn. Those locks were far too interesting. Then, a sound reached my ears, and I stopped my movements. Did Yagami Light just…_purr?!_ Seriously though, it was such a nice sound. I patted his head again, and…there it was! He _was purring! _Matt started to laugh like he just saw his ass on the TV, and Near blushed. Woah, the end is coming! Near blushed!

And what did Yagami do? Purr, of course. He was like a fat cat, fishing for attention. Just he wasn`t fat, and he was certainly no cat. As for fishing for attention… who gives a damn? His locks were too interesting.

I stopped my movements, and Light sighed at the loss of warmth. Hah, maybe he was a cat after all!

"Dude, you have to tell me what shampoo you use. Those bangs are _incredible!_"

"Uh-huh, sure…"

Was he falling asleep? I took the chance eagerly, patting his head and combing his locks with my fingers. Light was purring again, then he stopped. Did I do something wrong? I looked down at his face and had to cover my mouth from laughing. Definitely a cat. He was sleeping peacefully, and he looked even more beautiful. I sat back in my seat, chomping on my chocolate, determined to stay here with him. After all, I needed to hear the mark of the shampoo. Matt looked at me amused, and fished his PSP from his endless pocket, and Near started to play with his plush. Sheesh, the albino acted like he was five. But who cares? I get soft bangs, and a cat to pat whenever I like!

Light started to toss and turn in his sleep, mumbling incoherent words like there was no tomorrow. Well, shit. Matt looked at me, concern flashing in his eyes, before he started to shake Light. Nice, Mattsy, that only scared Light more. Near was looking at me with huge, pleading, teary eyes, and I sighed deeply. Stupid assholes, I should`ve known that I was the most mature. I mean, who shakes a guy with bad dreams?! Oh, that`s right, Mattsy does!

I sat on the stupidly white bed and patted Light like one would do with his obese cat. Well, that solved the case. 1 point for Mello, 0 for the two stupid assholes. Light purred in his sleep, and I sighed. This was going to be a long night. Maybe I should have Mattsy search for the old hag, she was nice to bicker with. Yeah, that would do.

Yagami, you owe me big. And you will pay…

…with the name of your hair conditioner…


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17

_**Disclaimer: I don`t own Death Note.**_

A/N: And here it is, Valentine`s Day, and I`m posting such a sad chapter. Sorry everybody, I just had to make L the bad guy, at least for a while. Wish you Happy Valentine`s Day, hope you have fun c: Enjoy and tell me what you think about it c:

Mello left, searching for the old nurse from before, and Matt exited the room cursing about low batteries and stupid monsters. I sat my plush down on the chair and moved closer to Yagami Light. From what L told us, he was the first Kira, but in another world. My estimations showed that L is 100% trust-worthy, and Yagami Light showed me that my suspicions of him being Kira were wrong. For the first time in my life, I accepted that I was wrong with my heart light and joyful.

"Your story is still unbelievable."

"Hai, I think that too. I often think about my previous life, and trust me, I am disgusted and disappointed with myself. I was eager to kill to obtain power, and that itself it`s a weakness."

"There is a 75% chance that you were used by the notebook, and-…"

"And 25% chance that I was greedy and full of malice. It`s the 25% chance, Nate. I knew what I was doing, and I enjoyed it. But seeing death and being into nothingness changes your point of view."

"Hai. And I believe you are not Kira anymore."

"Hell no! I burned that notebook, and trust me, it was scary. Like in a horror movie, the notebook was surrounded by blue flames and stuff. It was gross."

I had to chuckle. Yagami Light was a nice person, and I was surprised to admit that I enjoyed being near him. I didn`t object him calling me Nate, because he told it in a brotherly manner, and I enjoyed it. He understood me, and my childish way of being, and he was very intelligent, so we didn`t run out of ideas to debate.

Somebody knocked at the door, and Light tensed. I opened the door, only to find my predecessor in the door frame, his posture slouched and his thumb in mouth. He entered the room, and Light`s eyes widened, something else flashing in them. I only saw that emotion when Mello was eating chocolate, or Matt was receiving a new game. Was it…love? It wasn`t attraction, or lust, it was just pure love… was Light in love with my predecessor?

"Near, Light. Light, would you mind playing chess with me?"

Light nodded, and L pulled a chessboard out of nowhere. That surprised me, because nobody was worthy enough for the great detective. Mello wasn`t patient enough, Matt didn`t want to, and I always lost. So then why…

L patiently sat the pieces on the chessboard, almost in a loving manner, and then chose the white pieces, while Light took the black ones. The game started, and Yagami Light`s and L`s eyes were on the board, each calculating his next moves and the opponent`s. It was like a slow dance, each step calculated, and recalculated, and everything was moving slowly and smoothly on the board.

I woke with a start when Light announced his checkmate. My eyes widened, and I looked at the board almost scared. It was true. L`s king was between Light`s king and bishops. L sighed and extended his hand. I expected a cocky smile, or a taunting one from Light, but he looked like he was about to bounce with happiness. I smiled at L, who packed the chessboard and sat in a chair, sulking.

Light laughed, and it seemed to irate L even more. What was his problem? I was sure it wasn`t the first time he lost, so why all the overdramatic façade? Or was it a façade? Light stopped laughing, and he seemed concerned about L, a guilty frown setting on his face.

"L? Hey, I`m sorry, I didn`t mean to laugh at you really…why the sulking though?"

"I wasn`t sulking, Yagami Light, I was simply thinking about something."

"Yeah, right. Oh, come on, don`t be upset. It was just a game. We can play again, and see who wins. If you win, you`ll see I won`t sulk."

"There is no need for such useless competition. You won, congratulations."

"L, there is a 89% chance that something else is bothering you. Mind explaining?"

"Dude, that hag was sooo stupid! I mean, nobody, NOBODY, touches my chocolate! And you were so damn sexy, nearly punching her when she yelled at me. Damn, Mattsy, you`re too sexy for your own good!"

"Yeah, yeah, just be happy the hag didn`t call the police or something. You should watch your tongue Mells."

"Do you want to watch it for me? I mean…-"

"_L, there is a 89% chance that something else is bothering you. Mind explaining?_"

"Whadahell? What`s…-"

"Oh, c`mon L, it`s just a game! Kami-sama, you are so childish! Not everything is about winning and losing, you know? If you lose, you lose, and if you win, then good for you."

"I hoped my assumptions were wrong, but my plan showed me exactly what I needed, Yagami Light. That`s exactly what Kira would say in such a situation. There is a 5% chance that you are Kira, _again._"

Mello and Matt barged into the room, mouths agape, and I felt like crying. I watched L jumping from his seat, then leaving in his slouched manner, and I turned my head slowly, almost afraid to see Yagami Light`s face.

While I was trying to stop my tears I watched helplessly as the color drained from Light`s cheeks, his healthy color replaced by a nearly translucent white, and his eyes looked like a dead fish`s. He closed his eyes and rested his head on the pillows, faking sleep. A few tears made their way down his cheeks, and I looked at the clock.

Five minutes were enough to kill Yagami Light`s happiness.

Five minutes to break an innocent spirit. For the first time, L was wrong.


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 18

_**Disclaimer: I don`t own Death Note, or the song.**_

A/N: I cried so hard on this chapter. This has to be the most heart breaking thing I wrote until now. Sorry if you think it`s horrible, or something, I just had to write something heart breaking. And by the way, the song is **You raise me up- by Westlife.** Thank you for reading it this far, I really hope you like it. I honestly love writing it. Please tell me what you think about it so far, and hope you enjoy c:

Today I was getting out of the hospital. I felt lost and alone. Matt, Mello and Near were far too nice for something like…me. I thanked the nurse that helped me dress myself and stood straighter than a plank. I could do this. It wasn`t that hard. I will exit this dreaded building then try to make something out of my life. I nearly ran out of the room, the room in which I became once again a Kira suspect. I ran through the impossibly white halls, and when my lungs couldn`t take anymore stress, I collapsed in a dark corner. How ironic, a totally white building with a dark corner. I didn`t realize I was crying until I felt somebody wipe my cheeks with a handkerchief and pick me up. I leaned into the embrace, feeling like a small child that was alone and scared. Maybe it wasn`t that easy either. My body shook with the force of my sobs, and my lungs screamed for air, but I could care less. _Alone. _I was all alone.

"You don`t have to go through this alone."

The statement was supposed to calm my inner turmoil; instead I only cried harder and harder, until I felt dizzy and ready to pass out. I hugged the person tightly to me, clinging on it like my life depended. Which, in a strange way, it did. I passed out, nuzzling with the person, enjoying the darkness and peace.

I woke up, shaking violently. It hurt. It hurt, knowing that I will never be the same. It hurt, knowing that I was dirty and unworthy. It hurt, knowing that I lost all the things I loved.

I tried to stop my sobs, but I failed. _I failed. _In my previous life, I failed at protecting my family and friends. I failed at being Kami-sama. I failed at protecting the world. I failed at saving L, and saving myself. In this life, I failed yet again. I failed at proving myself worthy for love. My whole life was made out of fails after fails.

I finally realized it wasn`t the Fate that was toying with me. It was my own weak nature, and all my weaknesses that messed with me. I was a fool to believe I had a second chance. It was nothing, a simple game for the Kamis. The only thing I appreciated was knowing that everybody I loved had a second chance.

The large _'B' _on my back was on fire, and I had to bite my lips from screaming. The coppery taste of blood made me shake even harder, if possible.

I was scared. Even in my previous life, I was scared of letting people know who I really was, of being caught, of dying. But I never felt so frightened, so shaken.

What would happen if I died again? Would I go back to nothingness? Then what? Stay there forever, unable to feel something, or remember my past lives? But that wasn`t possible! I didn`t receive a second chance for nothing! But what if the second chance wasn`t meant for me? Oh, Kami, I was going back to the black void…

Realization dawned on me, and my tremors stopped. It was only a matter of time.

The door opened, and I cursed at myself for not knowing about my whereabouts. For all I knew, it could be a serial killer that came to end my life. A pair of arms encircled me, and I froze in shock. No, no, please, no!

I was shaking yet again, when Watari`s aged voice soothed me.

"There is nothing to be afraid of."

I choked a laugh, and cringed afterwards. I sounded pitiful and desperate. I was such a weak creature…

"There are many things to be afraid of, Watari."

"Don`t you need to go home, Light?"

"Father disowned me, I am banned from the Yagami house and I am no longer a Yagami."

Watari stiffened beside me, and then broke the hug. Here it comes. I could already hear what he was going to say. He was going to call me a pitiful creature. I was probably going to end up on streets, all alone. I wondered what Sayu was doing. Did she miss me? Was she watching her favorite soap opera now? I turned around, and Watari opened his mouth. I flinched, and bowed my head in shame. Better get over with it.

"You are no longer a Yagami, is this the situation?"

"Hai."

"You have nowhere to go."

"Hai."

"Then you are to stay here. From now on, you will consider myself your father, and you shall be raised in the Whammy family. You should choose and alias, Light. We will depart for England in two weeks time, and you are coming with us."

My head snapped at Watari, and I gaped like a fish. The sight was probably funny, because Watari`s booming laugh filled the room. My eyes watered, and I jumped in the aged man`s awaiting arms. I could feel him pat my back in a soothing manner, and I broke down, singing through sobs.

_When I am down and, oh my soul, so weary;__  
troubles come and my heart burdened be;__  
_

Watari stiffened, and I was ready to apologize, when his aged voice made my heart flutter and sing in joy.

_Then, I am still and wait here in the silence,__  
Until you come and sit awhile with me._

We looked exactly like the soap opera my sister was watching, and in my previous life, I would`ve been disgusted by the sight. But now… all I could do was sing with the man I owed my life. Sing with him, and hope for the best. Hope for a second chance.

_You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains;__  
You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas;__  
I am strong, when I am on your shoulders;__  
You raise me up... To more than I can be…_

Hope for a second chance.


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter 19

_**Disclaimer: I don`t own Death Note, or any of its characters.**_

A/N: This is so short -_- Sorry about it everybody. Anyway, thank you **violet - x3 stone**, you made my day c: Hope you like it, I have some random Matt and Mello bickering. And, oh my, Sayu is coming ^-^ Enjoy c:

When I woke up this morning, I was afraid to open my eyes. What if it was just a dream? Was I still in hospital? Somebody knocked at my door, and then heavy steps entered. I smiled in recognition. This were Watari`s steps, I could recognize them anywhere. I opened my eyes and stretched a bit.

"Ohayooo~."

"Ohayo gozaimasu Light-kun. You should get up, breakfast will be soon served. You will have breakfast with Mello, Matt and Near, as L is quite stubborn and refuses to leave his room."

"Yes, well, he won`t eat at the same table with Kira, so… anyway, arigato, for everything."

I got up and embraced him tightly, then left for the bathroom. Maybe this wasn`t going to be so bad. At least Matt, Mello and Near liked me. Still, I wondered what Sayu was doing.

"Warui chichioya. Disowning Light-o like he wanted to suffer. Baka. There`s no way I`m going onii-san leave. Not when I can help. Wait for me onii-san. I`m coming."

"Ohayo gozaimasu guys. How did you sleep?"

"It was a fruitful rest, it increased my speed of thought by 47.8%."

"Yeah, shorty`s right. It was one good rest. Besides Mattsy`s incredible snoring, it was nice."

"Pardon? I don`t 'snore' I just breathe louder. I can`t say the same about you, though. You could wake the dead guys from my games if you tried hard enough."

"Yeah right, you could snore so loudly that you could cover the noise from a plane."

"Says who? The guy who can sing the 'ABC' song in snores?"

"Are you trying to tell me something, _Mattsy?_"

"Not unless you are shitting with me, _Jello._"

"Oh, yeah? Well, maybe I am. What are going to do, crawl under a blanket with your PSP?"

"No, I am simply going to punch you so hard, that you will have to make chocolate milkshake to actually taste it."

"Bring it on, computer-addict."

"Right back at you, leather boy!"

"Don`t raise that girlish voice at me, sucka`!"

"Did you say something, messed-up Barbie?!"

"Go smoke some cigarettes, maybe it will make your voice raspier!"

"Go talk with a girl, maybe she can fix you!"

"And they do this everyday?"

"Not just everyday, every two hours. They always apologize afterwards, and have a session of 'i`m sorry' kisses. It is going to take…three more minutes."

"So they do have their limits…interesting. Can you pass me the mustard, please?"

"Stupid asshole, at least take of your goggle when you talk to me!"

"You know that`s not possible! Don`t shove that cross into my face, fucker!"

"Go away, you spawn of Satan! Baka, you are such a baka! Hey, gimme` back my cross!"

"…-and I think Barcelona is the most beautiful place in Spain. No offense, I never actually saw all the country, but it`s such a beautiful place. And the weather is just plain perfect!"

"I beg to differ, I think Madrid is a more…picturesque city. And I believe…-"

"You hit like a girl!"

"You slap like a bitch!"

"Well, at least I know how to bitch-slap the leather-addicts! Ow, you ass, that`s my hair not some sort of shit you can pull!"

"Shaddup and let go of my leg!"

"…-I can`t say I am too fond of the 'Twilight' series, though my sister had me look with her at all the movies, because she was too scared to watch them on her own."

"We should watch it together sometime, my sources said it was an enjoyable movie…-"

"Stupid asshole."

"Idiotic shit."

"Sumimasen."

"I`m sorry too."

"And it`s over. Oi, you two, get a room or something!"

"It is of no use, Light-kun. They will eventually stop, and then we can do something else. Thank you for breakfast, Watari."

"Thanks Watari, you outdid yourself."

"Thank you boys. Now, if you could detangle Mello and Matt from under the table…"


	20. Chapter 20

Chapter 20

**_Disclaimer: I don`t own Death Note._**

A/N: I am surprised nobody asked about Ryuk. He`s finally back, and he`s a big softie c: I had to write a chapter in Ryuk`s POV, he is just so adorable! This chapter is extra-short, but I hope you like it. Enjoy c:

I watched as the kid woke up terrified, burying his head under the pillows to muffle his scream. I winced as his body shook with the force of his sobs. Slowly, he made his way to the bathroom, and I heard the water hit his body. The smell of blood and steam made me wrinkle my nose in disgust. Poor kid. Second chances suck.

Finally he exited the bathroom, all dressed up. Ha! Nice try, kiddo. I could still see some place where his long-sleeved t-shirt didn`t cover his skin, and damn!- his skin was all burnt.

He fell face first on the bed, obviously fighting with his tears. He couldn`t sleep, that much I figured out. What a shame, it was only 2:15 AM. I quietly made my way to his bed, trying to figure out the sudden urge to comfort him. Sure, he was a nice creature, but comfort him? Now that`s something else.

I wondered why didn`t he see me until now. Or maybe he saw me, and decided to ignore me. Couldn`t judge him, I was pretty reckless. Shaking in what I assumed was what they called 'hyperventilating', I sat on the bed near him. Patting his head awkwardly, I chuckled a bit, wincing at the concerned tone. Dang it. I was starting to become soft.

"Hey, Light-o. Do you remember me? Old, creepy, Ryuk? Yeah, well, I was just passing by, and thought I…-"

"Where were you then."

"Now that`s a special question. You see, how should I put it, I just…-"

"You left me alone."

"Oh, c`mon kiddo, you can`t be upset about that! You actually snapped at me that day, wishing I was burning in Hell!"

"I was alone Ryuk. I wanted somebody near me, somebody who could help me. But I was alone."

Was this really Yagami Light? Because damn!- his voice was dull. Sure, I was feeling guilty about leaving him, but I had a reason! Oh, shit, the reason!

"Yah, so as I was sayin`, I left because I had a reason. Wanna` hear my story?"

"Actually…-"

"Exactly my thoughts. So yeah, I was watching you from afar, when, BAM!, the sucker kidnapped you. Guess what, Light-o? The freak was under the possession of some sort of semi Shinigami- semi human guy. He was insane! And you know the third rule of Death Note, which I quote, 'If the cause of death is written within the next 40 seconds of writing the person`s name, it will happen.'. So yeah, the semi-semi guy wrote the man`s name in his Death Note, and added 'after raping Yagami Light'. And it kind of happened…heh, yeah. But guess what! I tracked the semi-semi guy, and he looks a lot like L. I mean, he`s like his twin, or something like that, but clearly insane. And he has the eyes, you know? The Shinigami eyes. And a Death Note. He`s dangerous and stuff, and he looks like a pile of insane shit, and he`s…- What the hell are you doing?!"

Woah, I sounded like a girl, with an annoying high-pitched voice. But hey, the Yagami kid was hugging me. You don`t see something like this everyday.

"Shaddup, Ryuk. You suck."

"Hyuk, hyuk. At least I helped a bit, huh kiddo? You okay? You look like a burnt up shit. Or an old woman`s menstruation. You nearly killed yourself under the water, y`know that?"

"Uh-huh. Shaddup and tell me it`s going to be fine."

"C`mon Light-o, you know me. I don`t do shit like that."

"But you`re hugging me."

Damn, the kid had a point. And his whiney voice stirred something in me. Baka Light-o. Always having the upper hand.

"`S going to be alright."

"Liar."

"Oh, for the Old`s man sake! Whatchu want me to do? Huh?"

"Say it`s going to be okay and mean it."

"It`s not going to be okay, Light-o. Not until you wake up from your stupid reverie and take the matter in your hands. You can lay here all day, and made seven shower per hour, it won`t help. So get yo` lazy ass up and do something."

"I don`t wanna…"

"I don`t care. If you won`t do something interesting, I will go away and leave you to die under the hot water. You were so much fun, Light-o! Amuse me, or I`ll go."

I clearly missed this apples. So juicy! And Light-o finally looked like he was going to do something hilarious. Oh, oh! Maybe he was going to present me to the great L, the old guy, and the three chipmunks. Oh, humans are so much fun!


	21. Chapter 21

Chapter 21

_**Disclaimer: I don`t own Death Note.**_

A/N: Now that Sayu joined the party, we can finally move on with this plot! The karate scene actually happened, only I was Sayu and the bodyguard was a father`s friend. Hope you enjoy, I liked writing this chapter. We shall see what happens next. Enjoy c:

"_You _don`t understand! I have to see onii-chan! So move!"

"I`m sorry miss, you can`t go in. This place is supposed to be top secret, so how did you…-"

"How did I know, how did you move, how did Kami-sama create the world?! NOBODY KNOWS! NOW MOVE!"

"Miss, I suggest you go home. You can`t enter, and that`s final."

"Alright, _mister, _you asked for it. If you don`t move in the next 10 seconds, I`ll show you what I learnt last week at the karate lesson. Move aside!"

"Miss, I-…"

"10, 9, 8, …"

"Please, reconsider!"

"7, 6, 5, …"

"Miss?"

"4, 3, 2,…"

"Miss, you have to understand…"

"1. You think you`re though?! I`ll show you who`s though! Nobody, and I repeat, nobody keeps me from seeing onii-chan! Kyah!"

To say the sight amused me was an understatement. The girl jumped on the poor bodyguard`s back, in an attempt to kick him. Whatever strategy she was using, I was more then 90% sure the girl didn`t know karate. However, she managed to land a few punches and kicks here and there. She was a though girl.

She was…something unique. From my point of view, she was 16 years old, not a child, but not a woman either. Her chocolate-brown hair flew everywhere, and despite the unusual situation, she was shining with health and determination. Her eyes were some strange brown color, almost amber. Now those eyes were familiar. And she was talking about her 'onii-chan', so that means she was Yagami Light`s sister.

Finally, the fight ended, and I was surprised to see the bodyguard out cold, and her small body moving quickly towards the door. Poor thing, she didn`t know where she was going.

Mello came out, probably because of the loud sounds, and whistled at the girl, who turned around with some sort of fire in her eyes that made me blush for no reason. Now, where did that come from?

"Hey, girly, whatcha doin` here?"

"Don`t 'girly' me, mister! I am here to see my onii-chan, and nobody, _nobody_, can stop me."

"I can see that. Who`s yo` brother?"

"Yagami Light!"

She was proud of her brother. The way she held her head up high, her chest puffed out and her mouth pulled into a triumphant smile told me everything I needed to know.

"Light`s yo` brother? Nice! So you`re Sayu, right?"

"You know me? Did onii-chan talk about me? What did he say? Don`t believe him, I`m not a crybaby! If he said I like chocolate, he`s right. Wait. Is Watari somewhere around here?"

"How do you know Watari?"

She looked at me, and suddenly I needed my rabbit. She tilted her head a bit, looking comically like a young dog, and smiled. I was 100% sure that her smile could kill. It was sweeter than Mello`s chocolate, though more special and sophisticated than Matt`s PSP.

"Well everybody knows Watari. I mean, really, he has to be the best guy alive! Everytime Ryuzaki came to our home, when otou-san…I mean Yagami Soichiro was working with him, Watari came in and made the best sweets! Seriously, he`s the best!"

"Why, thank you, Miss Sayu."

"Watari!"

I was 90% sure that Watari was going to fall from the force of the young girl jumping into his arms, but he looked quite content, so Sayu stayed glued to him. She started to ramble about nothing and everything, and for the first time in my life, the annoying tune of nonsense didn`t annoy me. I was mesmerized about the girl`s attitude. So carefree and so…beautiful?

"-and then otou-san told me to choose between the Yagami family and Light, and I chose Light, and he disowned me, and I came here, knowing that Ryuzaki loved this place, and wherever Ryuzaki is, I will find Light, and then, BAM!, here I am, talking to you. By the way, where`s onii-chan?"

So Yagami Soichiro disowned his daughter in his insanity. This was going to be a problem. While Yagami Light was certainly very intelligent, and had the qualities to enter with brio the Whammy House, his sister was…not so intelligent. She was quite beautiful, and a nice spot in the background, but she wasn`t made for the orphanage. Watari seemed to think along the same lines, because he looked at me and nodded. I nodded back, and this was it. Ex Yagami Sayu was the new addition to our little family.

Loud footsteps interrupted my trail of thoughts, and Light entered the room, shock written all over his face.

A brown blur passed by me, and Light fell unceremoniously on the floor, with an extremely happy Sayu in his arms.

"Onii-chan! I missed you! You just left that day, and I had to do my math homework all by myself! You know that I totally suck at math! Promise never again to leave me, because if you do, another bodyguard will feel my wrath!"

Mello started to laugh, holding his sides, and a small smile blossomed on my face. The girl ought to be trouble. But as Plautus said : 'Patience is the best remedy for every trouble.'.


	22. Chapter 22

Chapter 22

_**Disclaimer: I don`t own Death Note.**_

A/N: At the beginning, I wanted this chapter to be depressing and stuff, but then school ended, and since there`s no homework for me, I wrote this. I personally like it, and since Ryuk came into view, I guess there will be more stuff to do. And I love Ryuk, so I had Sayu act like a mini-me c: Hope you enjoy c:

"And then ot-…I mean Yagami Soichiro started to yell, saying that you never were his son, how happy he is you finally are out of his life, and stuff like that, and BAM! I started to yell that he is a BIG chicken, he is just scared to have a brilliant child, and he should feel guilty that you left, because he is STUPID. And oka- I mean Yagami Sachiko started to beg Yagami Soichiro to go and find you, and oto-…Yagami Soichiro said that I should leave too. And I was like, 'Sure, why not.'. And he disowned me, and I packed my things, and wandered around the town aimlessly, when BAM!- it hit me. Literally. I almost ran into a trash bin. Whatever. So I said to myself 'Girl, wherever Ryuzaki and Watari are, there you`ll find Light-o.' So I found this building, and the guard wouldn`t let me in, so I showed him! And then the blonde haired guy and the white-haired guy started to ask me stuff, and Watari came, and POOF!, you came. I missed you! Why did you leave, again?"

Light sighed. He sure missed his sister, but sometimes she was too much. Running his hand through his hair, a habit that reminded him of the unruly hair of the Great Detective L, he opened his mouth to launch into explanations. Again.

"Because Yagami Soichiro disowned me in hospital. Though I wasn`t so sure I was going to come home, even if he hadn`t disowned me. I mean, I was sick of pretending."

"Pretending?"

"Yeah Mello. The whole 'best child alive, best grades and best reputation' was starting to suffocate me. There was never love. It was a big deal, but I thought that if I pretended hard enough I would feel loved. Quite the contrary if you ask me."

"Deal? What deal?"

Light looked at Matt, surprised that he was so curious. He even paused his video game. Looking at everybody gathered around him, he sighed. Besides Ryuzaki, everybody in the crew was there. Matt with his game paused, Mello who left his chocolate in the kitchen, Near looking at his sister, a thing he will have to ask later, Sayu looking at him with big teary eyes, Watari nodding in understanding.

"It was quite simple, really. Since I wasn`t a Yagami, I had to work hard to deserve that name. Since I was minor, my everyday work was school. If I had the best grades in Tokyo, I was good enough to be a Yagami. If not, that`s it."

"What do you mean, 'not a Yagami'. You were a Yagami! This bullshit it starting to give me a headache."

"I wasn`t a real Yagami. I was adopted."

"NANI?!"

Matt, Mello and Near looked ready to wipe the floor with their jaws, Watari looked angry, and Sayu… Sayu was a mix of everything. Shock, fury, nervousness, anger, and some more rage.

"You can`t be serious! WHAT THE HECK, LIGHT?! You knew this all along, and you didn`t say! I grew up thinking you were my brother, that okaa-…Yagami Sachiko gave birth to you, and here you are, relaxed and carefree, telling me you LIED TO ME ALL ALONG! What is wrong with you?! Don`t you care about me! It was all a lie! A big, horrible lie!"

Light`s eyes darkened, and his shoulders slumped. He sat on the big couch from Watari`s room and idly played with his thumb, another habit that reminded him of the absence of the Great Detective.

"And what you expecting me to do? Waltz in your room, with a big smile, and say something like 'Dearest sister, you are not related to me. You mother and father adopted me because my real parents didn`t give a fuck. Wish you a beautiful day, and if you need help with you math homework, just call.'? Yeah right. Look at you now. You are ready to strangle me, just because your parents finally gave up on me. I didn`t ask for it, you know?"

"What is wrong with you?! I don`t give a single flying shit! For all I care, you could`ve been Kira! You`re my brother, and you lied to me! Just because the Yagami family is a pile of crap, it doesn`t mean I don`t love you! I don`t like to be lied to, and I want to hear everything you kept from me. Now."

"Well…, you see, I actually…-"

"SO you were Kira! I knew it, I knew it, joy to the world, I knew it!"

Well, nobody expected this. When Light explained the concept of being Kira to his sister, they all expected her to be mad, to hurt Light and to leave the room, never to come back. Looking at her dancing form, her hair flying all over the place, Light realized something. Sayu really loved him, true sister or not.

"Can I see Ryuk?"

"NANI?! Clearly not! Never! No-uh! No way!"

"Whyyyy noooooot?! I want to see him! And since we`re all here, you can show Ryuk to everybody! I bet he`s cute. You said he likes apples. Can I pat him? And give him apples? Is he ugly? I don`t caaare~."

"Yeah, Light, show us the Shinigami."

"Are you sure? I mean…he`s…"

"It will help us trust you that you are indeed not Kira. One would think that somebody that hides his Shinigami is hiding other things as well."

"Ryuk, just show up or something, I dunno` what to do."

"Oh, c`mon Light-o. You are so boooring! Hocus pocus everybody. Nice to meet ya. Have any apples?"

The look on everybody`s faces were priceless. Mello was slowly reaching for his cross, Matt was hiding behind Mello, Near was calculating his chances to run away, Watari was amused and Sayu…well, Sayu…

"You`re so PRETTY! Light, you said he was horrible!"

"Horrible? You wound me Light-o."

"You have such a nice earring! And I like you trousers. So stylish! Ooooooooh! You back is so unbelievable! Do you have wings? Light-o said they were disgusting."

"Disgusting? I might as well stay with your sister. She clearly knows when a beautiful creature shows up. Wanna` see my wings babe?"

With a 'woosh', Ryuk`s wings came into view, and Watari laughed at poor Matt, who was now holding an unconscious Mello. Near was slowly approaching Ryuk, and Sayu was patting Ryuk`s wings, making the Shinigami purr in contentment.

"Mr. Shinigami…-"

"Might as well call me Ryuk, whitey."

"Hai… until now, the chances for a Shinigami to actually exist were extremely low… somewhere between 3% and 7%. How come that you are not afraid of showing up? Perhaps some hidden aces?"

"Nah. You can`t kill me, I can`t kill you, because it`ll end the fun, and besides, I just want some apples. But this girl, she`s incredible. Hey, reddie, take blondie and kiss him goodnight. I`ll explain things later. Light-o, about my appearance…"

Light groaned in defeat. This was going to be a long night.


	23. Chapter 23

Chapter 23

_**Disclaimer: I don`t own Death Note.**_

A/N: This was so interesting to write! I always wanted to make a story about Matt`s past, and this was perfect! I hope you like it, by the way, the song is **You Found Me - The Fray. Awsomeangel, **thank you for reviewing c: Everybody who reviewed, thank you. Hope you like this chapter. Enjoy c:

I smiled at the calendar. Ten years. It`s been ten years since I was sitting alone, in the rain, clutching my only memory from my mother. It was raining, I think. That, or I was crying. I remember being scared of everybody. They were looking at me in pity, and sometimes somebody would stop and ask me questions, but I didn`t pay attention. I was just waiting for my mother.

_Flashback_

'_I need you to wait here Mail. Mommy has to do something…alone. Just be a good boy, and remember, mommy loves you. Here, take your game-boy. I should be back in five minutes. Mommy loves you Mail, I hope you will remember that all your life.'_

'_Yeah__ momma. I love you too. Bye-bye.'_

_End of flashback_

I should`ve known. The way she repeated she loved me all over again, the way her voice trembled… She gave me my game-boy. She always said it was unhealthy to play on it. I should`ve known. I remember her. Chestnut hair, big amber eyes, rosy cheeks… She never wore makeup. She said it made her look 'old'.

I smiled at my game-boy. It`s old and rusty, and definitely idiotic, but I keep it close to me, close to my soul. It`s my only memory of her. I wonder if she solved her problems.

I remembered being unusually cold. It was early May, and the weather was crappy. The sky was black, and the wind was howling. Interesting how the weather is always going hand-in-hand with the situation.

I remember clearing my goggles constantly, scared of letting them dirty. In my nine-year old mind, dirty goggles meant blurred vision, therefore not seeing my mother.

Then he came. At first I thought it was some old lady that was there to question me, and I snapped. He laughed.

_Flashback_

'_Hey, you. Wazzup?'_

'_Leave me alone, you old fart! I`m waiting for my mommy, and you can go to-…You`re not an old lady.'_

_A boy with blonde hair and blue eyes laughed at me. How dare he?! I was waiting for my mommy, and here he is, laughing his blonde head off! Stupid asshole!_

'_Are you done?'_

_Tell `em Mail! Like mommy taught me. Never back down. _

_The blonde smiled at me, and I was taken aback. That was some beautiful smile…_

'_When did your mother leave?'_

_I looked at my watch, and my eyes widened behind the goggles momma gave me at Christmas. 5 PM already?_

'_Uh…10 AM… Is that a bad thing?'_

_The blonde (I should ask him his name) frowned and unwrapped a piece of chocolate. Where did that come from?_

'_It`s the same… she isn`t coming back kiddo. Name`s Mihael, but you can call me Mello. Let`s head to the quarters and Watari will explain.'_

'_Name`s Mail, but I tell people to call me Matt. And who`s this Watari? Wait, no, I can`t go! Momma`s coming back, she promised!'_

'_Nope kiddo. Mother did the same thing. She isn`t coming back. You should just come with me, I`m your new family.'_

_End of flashback_

I was livid. My mother lied to me. I waited, and waited, and waited. Watari explained everything to me, and I remember crying in his arms, and then in L`s arms. At first I was sad, and even my game-boy was disgusting. Then I was angry. I lost everything, and my mother lied to me.

And then, Mello.

He understood me completely. He was my brother, my father, my cousin, my mother. He was my everything. We were glued to each other, and some kids made fun of us, saying we were Siamese. Fuck them, Mello was my lifeline. Then I remembered my game-boy. I played on it all the time, and Mello was scared I was in some sort of depression. Watari noticed this, and gave me a computer, telling me to hack in some sort of system.

It was like a game. I hacked into the system successfully, and then I remember L telling me something about becoming a successor to him, the Great Detective. I refused. I was going to be near Mello, because he was my life, but I needed my life. I needed my life to repay Mello for his kindness.

Years passed by, and when I was fifteen, some kid made me his punching bag. I looked like a big, bloody shit. When Mello found me, he freaked out. I remember laughing my head off, he looked like a chicken clucking desperately. Watari took care of my injuries, but Mello refused to let me go outside.

_Flashback_

'_Dude, c`mon! It`s just a bruise!'_

'_JUST A BRUISE? YOU LOOK LIKE A PLUM MATT!'_

'_Jeesh, you are freaking out!'_

'_Am not!'_

'_Are too!'_

'_Okay, I am! Happy? What if something really bad happened? I can`t let anything happen to you Matt, you are-…'_

'_Jesus Christ Mello! I owe my life to you, and you say you need to take care of me? What kind of retard are you?!'_

'_If you throw your life, how will you repay me?!'_

_Ouch. That stung. So it was all about my debt. I think my eyes darkened or something, because my face was too bruised to see anything on it. Mello was promptly sitting in my lap, but I was used to it. _

'_I don`t mean it that way, stupid. I can`t let you die, b`cuz I love you, and I would kick my ass if you died.'_

_End of flashback_

And he kissed me. I almost punched him in surprise, but he was so soft… I never thought I was bi, nor gay, but I could understand why I wasn`t interested in girls. Because I loved Mello. It was so simple.

Ten years. I was left on the street ten years ago.

_Early morning  
The city breaks  
_

I was desperate. I was alone. I begged Watari to find my mother, and he gave me her number. I called everyday. She didn`t call back.

_I've been callin'  
For years and years and years and years  
And you never left me no messages  
Ya never send me no letters  
_

She took everything from me. My life, my home, my family. My friends, my future. She left saying she loved me.

_You got some kinda nerve  
Taking all I want  
_

Still, every year, on the 5th of May, I thank her. She gave me a goodbye gift. And I will always treasure it. She gave me my Mello.

_Lost and insecure  
You found me, you found me  
Lyin' on the floor  
Surrounded, surrounded_

"Hey, Mattsy, watchu doin`?"

"Thanking mother."

"Well, thank you Mrs. Jeevas. You suck. You left the most beautiful boy in the world. Thanks."

"Mello! You should thank her, not snap at her! I bet she`s sneezing like crazy now. But without her, I wouldn`t have meet you. You know you love meee~"

"Yeah, yeah, I love you, you love me, the rest is history. Move your fat ass, I`m hungry."

"Shaddup leather-boy. Last night you said my ass was perfect."

"Well, you did something, because now it`s fat. C`mon Mattsy, my beast wants to eat!"

"Oh? I thought I fed your beast?"

"The other one, genius. Jeesh, can we just go?"

"Yeah, yeah, let`s go. Watari will throw a fit if we don`t eat his precious pancakes."

"The chocolate one`s?"

"Uh-huh."

"Well, what are we waiting for? Later, Mrs. Jeevas. You suuuuck~"

"Stupid asshole."

_You found me, you found me  
_


	24. Chapter 24

Chapter 24

_**Disclaimer: I don`t own Death Note. **_

A/N: And here it is, the new chapter :). I want to thank **Starlight Pheonix **(amazing name) for your review, and for your suggestion. I actually put POV in this chapter, and I will from now on. **violet -x3 stone **(amazing as always) you made my day with your reviews c: Eternally grounded? Guh :(. Yes, there was lyrics in the last chapter, I named the song in the author`s note. Anyway, there will be some lyrics here as well, it`s from **I just wanna` run - Downtown Fiction. **Hope you like this chapter c:

Light P.O.V.

"Let`s play chess."

Poor pancake. It was so tasty too! Watari made the best pancakes in the world, and L had to come in the kitchen and invite me to play chess. What is his problem?! I was going to eat it, and that bastard just came in and nonchalantly asked me, _his _suspect, to play chess with him. I bet he planned this. He knew I was going to be surprised and choke on the pancake.

Thanks for Sayu, I didn`t die. She nearly suffocated me, but it`s better than laughing hysterically in Mello`s case, or gaping like a fish in Matt`s case. Near just played with his toys, and Watari gave L some cake. Umm, hello?! I was dying!

"Why?"

"That`s exactly what Ki-…"

"Okay, you know what, let`s play."

"Agreeing already? My assumptions were-…"

"What was I supposed to say?! If I say no, I`m Kira. If I say yes, I`m Kira. If I question you, I`m Kira. I will shut up from now on. Happy?!"

"Actually, snapping at me like that shows that you are-…"

"Kira. Yes, I _was _Kira, but now I`m _not. _Te rest of the crew saw Ryuk already, so if you want to-…"

"The Shinigami is here? Another proof of you being Kira. You are walking on thin ice."

"Umm, guys? Shouldn`t you play chess or something?"

L turned to Sayu, finally acknowledging her. He narrowed his eyes, and turned to Watari, ready to probably ask some stupid questions.

"Before you ask anything, she is part of family. She knows about everybody`s past, even her brother`s and she`s now part of the Whammy Family."

Nice comeback Watari! L closed his mouth with a 'click' and exited the room.

"Poor baby, he`s upset. Should I go and see if he wants some cake?"

"Instead of being sarcastic you could come and play Light_-kun_."

"Fine, dearest _Ryuzaki._"

Mello laughed even harder, tears of mirth running down he`s cheeks. Matt`s jaw was on the floor, and Near was shooting invisible lasers. Sayu was hugging Watari, and I wondered if I should help my old man, since his face was turning blue. L`s impatient huff interrupted my trail of thoughts, and I sat on the chair, preparing my moves. The game began.

"I know what you are doing L, it won`t work. You want to corner me and make me confess. You are wasting your time."

"Wrong. I wanted to play chess, and you are the only true adversary. But now that you brought that up…"

"…you`ll just pester me until I slip."

"Touché."

_Like a game of chess  
I predict your move  
I think I know you better  
Better than you do  
_

"Your muffled screams are getting on my nerves."

"Sorry to disturb you, I am merely scared and unsure your Highness."

"No need to be sarcastic, Light-_kun._"

"No need to be disturbed about my well-being, _Ryuzaki._"

"You should visit a medic."

"You should mind your own business."

"Everybody in the Whammy Family is my business."

"Touché."

I looked at him for the first time since our match began. His hair was even messier, if that was possible, and the rings under his eyes were still deep and dark. But something in his eyes… there was some sort of pity there. I snorted. I don`t need pity. I need friendship and understanding, not pity. He locked gazes with me, and I had to retrain me from wincing. He looked exactly like BB.

There was no way I was allowing myself to think about that. L and BB are different. While BB was usually showing up in my nightmares, L was always there in the end, to save me. _Save me?_

_I'm sick of feeling cheap  
Cheated and abused  
Sick of losing sleep  
Thinking about you  
_

"Light-_kun _should confess."

"I`m not Kira."

"You are making things harder Light-_kun._"

"Well, _Ryuzaki, _I`m _not _Kira! What is so wrong in believing me?!"

"I will not risk everything again. Not after the _last time._"

"People change."

"Ah, but memories don`t, do they?"

"In fact, memories do change. If you want to change them, and you have somebody you can share them with, they can change."

"That is not my concern. I am content with my memories."

"Stubborn."

"Confess."

"I`m not Kira."

_I'm feelin' like I keep on talking  
I'm repeating myself,  
My words lost all meaning  
I keep talking  
I repeat myself  
_

"Eventually you will want to be Kami-sama of the New World again, and you will seek Ryuk, or another Shinigami, in order to obtain another Death Note. There is no other way for you, Light_-kun. _You need help with you problems, or you will just repeat yourself. Confess."

"Yagami Soichiro used to tell me stories when I was younger. He told me stories about brave policemen, and even braver detectives. He told me that in order to survive, you have to either be born with the power needed, or work hard to obtain it. While I agree that this is the concept of life, fighting until you die, I disagree with his theory. In order to survive, you don`t need to fight until the end, not alone at least. If you have back-up, or friends, or family, your chance to survive is higher. In my last life, I chose to work alone, lie, fight and kill. I said people change, _Ryuzaki. _I changed my concept of life. I now have a true family, true friends. I am not alone. Therefore, I will refrain from obtaining another Death Note."

"While your speech was heart warming and full of facts, I don`t trust you. Confess."

_I just wanna run, hide it away  
Run because they're chasing me down  
I just wanna run, throw it away  
Run before they're finding me out  
_

If L would find out that I was not running away from him because of the power of the Death Note, he would be crushed. I was running away from my feelings, always disagreeing with myself. While I was sure I was in love with the Great Detective, I knew it was one-sided. And further more, he didn`t trust me. Therefore, our friendship or relationship had no chance. I moved my king, and sighed. Getting up and leaving the room, I thought I won`t hear his remark. Looks like Fate isn`t siding with me this time.

"Light-_kun _won this chess game, but leaving the room before announcing it raised my percentage of him being Kira. Enjoy your game Light-_kun, _at least while you can."

_I just wanna run (won't find me out, won't find me out)  
I just wanna run_


	25. Chapter 25

Chapter 25

_**Disclaimer: I don`t own Death Note.**_

A/N: There it is! I hope you like it, **violet -x3 stone**, I decided to go with your idea. B is destroying Light. Poor guy, I really feel sorry for him. I hope you like it, sorry if it wasn`t very good. Hope you enjoy c:

Light P.O.V.

Stupid detective, with a stupid nice house, with a stupid beautiful garden, with a stupid tennis court. Stupid L. He was still mumbling around, biting his thumb, telling everyone that I was Kira. Hah, keep trying! They were all on my side.

We arrived at his mansion two days ago, and I couldn`t help but be awed by the place. It was beautiful. The gardens, the tennis court, the pool, everything. Sayu was talking with Near, and that surprised me. Near was too collected and intelligent to talk with Mello and Matt, but he was talking with Sayu? And the way he talked, twirling a strand of hair around his finger nervously… seriously now, was Sayu blind or something? Near was obviously in love with her. Guess I must have a brother-sister talk later.

Matt and Mello were probably in their room, or somewhere in the garden, making out. At least they were showing some affection to each other. Watari was probably cooking something, and L was certainly locked in his room, either being the Great detective or doing Kami-sama knows what. That left me, alone, walking around. At least I could walk around freely.

Now, why was L so stubborn?! He wouldn't even let me explain him! Stupid detective, refusing to hear the true story… What was his problem after all? I didn`t kill anybody since my previous life, and I certainly wasn't going to do so. Those times were over. Kira was dead. But no, L had to argue about it and to make my life miserable. Of course he had to, he was a heartless baka after all.

Still… there were times when I wasn't so sure. L looked so…lonely. Almost afraid. With his big eyes searching for something… he looked unsure. And the way he was was biting his thumb was childish. Maybe he was still searching for his lost childhood? I wanted to know. I wanted to help him, to be there for him. But he was cold, and rude, and he didn't let anybody near him.

He was like a rose. Beautiful, but deadly. The flower was surrounded by sharp thorns, ready to bite into your flesh. Still, if you dug hard enough, there was a chance, a little chance, that you could touch the red blossom.

I was willing to get all cut and hurt, just to reach the flower. To reach L`s soul. To cradle him in my arms, to tell him he was going to be alright. He had friends, he had a family. He was not alone. He had me.

I stopped and looked around. Looks like I left the garden while thinking about L. The thought made me smile. The Great Detective was always in my mind. And I was sure there would be a day when he was going to be by my side.

"My, oh my, looks like the light was left alone in the darkness. We can`t accept that, can we Light-o?"

My body froze, a scream locked in my throat. I slowly turned around, ready to run at full speed, when a piece of cloth was pressed to my nose. I should`ve known he was going to find me. I could only hope I was going to live after this. Darkness engulfed me, but not before a pair of red eyes bore into mine. I was doomed.

My body was on fire. Maybe I was dying? Probably. My head was throbbing, my throat was dry, and every part of my body hurt. Was I on drugs? Where was I, anyway?

A door opened, its creaking noise making my blood freeze in my veins. A strange sensation of déjà vu washed over me, and I tried to move, only to feel my hands and legs tightly tied. No! This wasn`t going to happen! It was another nightmare! Please, somebody, anybody, wake me up! I don`t want to…-

"Light-o, don`t be so scared. You have to shine, don`t you? I`m sorry last time I couldn't break you myself, but I couldn't let you see me. But now, now I can. It`s showtime, isn't it?"

No. No, no, no, no! This wasn't happening! No!

"Tsk, tsk Light-o. What`s with the frightened face? You don`t have to be scared. You have to be terrified. Try a bit harder, and if you don`t succeed, I can always help you. Alright?"

Please, let this be a horrible nightmare, please, I beg anybody who is listening! Don`t let it be true, don`t, _I beg you!_

"This is a dream, right?"

That was my voice? It sounded so raspy, so… lifeless. It hurt to talk, it hurt to breathe, it hurt to think. Everything hurt. A dark chuckle filled the room, and my head snapped up, to meet the face I feared the most. _B. _

"I appear in your dreams? I'm flattered, Light-o. Or do you wish me to say…_Light-kun?_"

"No!"

"Alright, Light-kun. There we go, better! Now, where was I? Ah, yes, I guess you already know I'm B. Don`t I look like our dearest Lawli-chan?"

"You look nothing like him, you bastard!"

A foot connected with my cheek, and a loud 'crack' filled the dark room. B looked pleased with himself, eyes flashing red, bony fingers tracing my jaw.

"That was not nice, Light-kun. I already know I look like Lawli-chan, you don`t have to lie. Do you want to hear a little secret?"

"I don`t want to…-"

"That`s the spirit! Now, keep quiet, I will not say this twice. Do you know why Lawli-chan was accusing you of being Kira? Because he`s attracted to you. If you hadn`t been raped that day by my man, you would`ve been raped by him. He`s a monster, Light-kun. A monster. He never truly cared about friendship, or love. He is just a perverted detective. I heard he raped many people until now. Are you sure you want to be around him, Light-kun?"

"You are…lying…"

Still, a trace of doubt shaded my words. L, a serial rapist? That couldn't be, right? He was a great detective, and he was justice… he…he wouldn't, would he? No, he wouldn't! How can I be so stupid?! The person in front of me was trying to trick me! That won`t work, no matter what. I had fate in L.

"Am I? That`s not nice, Light-kun. Do you know what happens when you accuse me without a proof? Bad things happen, Light-kun. Very, very bad things. I wanted you to know the truth, but you are being stubborn. Now, let the show begin. I want you to shine, Light-kun, shine until there`s no light left. Because when the light goes off, there remains only darkness."

My loud sobs filled the room. This was no nightmare. Somebody, please help me…

It hurt. My whole body hurt. But what hurt the most was that B looked like L… L, why didn`t you save me?


	26. Chapter 26

Chapter 26

_**Disclaimer: I don't own Death Note.**_

A/N: This chapter is actually horrible, and I apologize for it. I seriously don't know what to write... so if you can give me some ideas... *o* Well, I know you can't enjoy it, but bear with this chapter. Sorry :c

Normal P.O.V.

"L, take a look at this."

The Great Detective took the piece of paper from Watari, carefully unfolding it. They were nearing three days since Light's disappearance, and they were all tired and desperate. His already wide eyes widened dramatically, his fingertips gripping the paper tightly. He recognized the sloppy writing, and the message was terrifying. For the first time in a long time, L was scared.

"Is it about onii-chan?"

"H-hai it is." Clearing his throat, trying to speak clearly, he read the message once again, this time loud and clear.

'_When we were young, you liked to solve riddles. Solve this one, oh Great Detective. When the Light goes off, only darkness remains. How are you planning on keeping your Light alive? Have fun, Lawli-chan.'_

Dark silence filled the room, and everybody felt their hopes being crushed. Light was in B's hands, and the chances of him being still alive were dangerously low.

"So he is planning on killing Light."

"According to this message, yes he is. I am afraid that…-"

"Wrong. He doesn't want to kill onii-chan."

Realizing she was now in the spotlight, with all the eyes set on her, Sayu continued, her voice trembling slightly, due to the effort of keeping her sobs in check.

"He plans on destroying him until there is nothing left. Then he will give us onii-chan back. But his plan has a flaw. We have five great detectives and a sister who want to save the said 'Light'. Let's go back to work, we have to find onii-chan."

And they worked. Worked, and worked and worked. When they weren't working, they were searching. Two long days has passed, and Sayu was reaching her limit, but they kept working. And searching. Trying to find their light.

Light P.O.V.

"You know Light-kun, I'm impressed. You endured this until now. Either you are noble and strong, or stupid and scared. But guess what. I was such a nice guy, Light-kun~. I sent Lawli-chan a message, telling him where we are, and what I did to you. That was five days ago. Oh, but what a shame! He didn't come…I'm sorry Light-kun, I'm sure you are devastated. Tsk, what a shame. But fear not, I'm here for you."

My brain registered vaguely what he said, but the words didn't affect me anymore. I was used to his way of lying, the way he tried to trick me. The way he blew cold air in my ear, the way he kicked me around, the way he touched me. I was accustomed of his way of dealing with everything. And it bothered me. I had known L since my previous life, and he was still a mysterious man with mysterious habits, but on the other side, I had known B for one week, and I knew his every movement, his every method of lying, his every twitch or flinch.

"You know Light-kun, I'm tired of this game. I want to be there for you, to let you know what kind of creature L truly is, to stay by your side. I'm tired of beating around the bush. Do you want to hear a story? Of course you want. Let's take a look at your supposed family. L isn't even hiding his disgust of you, he likes to ignore you and he clearly hates you. Watari is pretending to like you, because L ordered him, and the old man is an obedient slave. Matt is in love with Mello, and Mello is another slave of L's, so the pair is pretending to be your 'family' and 'friends'. Near wants to be the next L, so of course he has to be careful around you, he has to know how the mass-murderers act. Sayu is shaken by the fact you are not her brother, and she hates you because of your previous past. You mother and father disowned you, you friends forgot you, Misa has another boyfriend, Ryuk is wandering around, as far as he can. I wanted to protect you Light-kun. I want you to know that they are all pretending, lying and hiding their feelings. I can be there for you. I can help you. I may look like L, but I am nothing like him."

It hurt. I was sure he was lying, but it hurt. His monologue, his words were what I feared the most: rejection. My previous life was going to haunt me forever, smiling darkly at my mistakes, always there to pester me, keep me from forgetting. I agreed to take the second chance to help my family and friends. I wanted to have another chance. Realization dawned on me. There was no other chance. It didn't matter if it was my previous life, or actual life, it was the same. Same mistakes, same enemies, same allies. Same fate, same fears.

"You are…right. You may look like him, but you are nothing like him… He may be disgusted by my presence, but I know I can trust him. You are… lying."

His hand grabbed my chin, making me lock gazes with his Shinigami eyes. He smirked at me, then pushed me down.

"Such a shame. You are a nice boy, Light-kun, but you refuse to see life as it is. Guess I have to make you open those eyes. It might hurt…a lot."

His wicked laugh filled the room, and I closed my eyes, waiting for my punishment. _Please save me. _

Normal P.O.V.

Sayu was crying in Near's shirt, Matt was comforting a terrified Mello and Watari was burning the letter. L was staring at the scene, his heart clenching painfully, the letter replaying in his mind again and again. So this was it? He refused to lose, he was a sore loser, and he knew Light was fighting. They couldn't lose. He was determined to find Light, but his eyes were trained on the piece of paper that was turning to ashes.

'_You failed, Lawli-chan. The Light is slowly dying. The darkness is winning. Let's see which will die first. The light, or the Great Detective? Have fun, Lawli-chan.'_


	27. Chapter 27

Chapter 27

_**Disclaimer: I don't own Death Note.**_

A/N: This chapter is a 'sorry chapter', since my last chapter was horrible. I liked this one, and I plan on writing about Light's state of instability. Hope you enjoy it. By the way, the song is **_I'm coming home - Diddy- Dirty Money feat. Skylar Grey._**Enjoy c:

Light P.O.V.

Was B drunk? Or did he finally lose it? If he was insane then, what was he now? Who was he talking to? And why was he so nervous? It bothers me to no end, the fact that I know everything he feels or thinks just by the way he talks. He's nervous now. He seems a bit angry, but more like scared, or cornered. He shoved somebody, I knew it by the way his breath hitched a bit. He's trying to stall. He punched somebody, I could tell by the way he was breathing heavily and his words were slurred. Who was he fighting with? Somebody pointed a gun at B. I was sure. B was never afraid of anything, besides flames and guns. And since there was no smoke, I was sure it was a gun. B was terrified. His words were slurred, and made no sense, his breath was coming out in ragged gasps, and by the shuffling noise, he was trying to run. _'BANG'. _It was over. No ragged breaths, no shuffling noises, no slurred words. Silence.

It was cold here, wherever here was. I was sure my right arm was broken, and my jaw was as well, but I wasn't so sure about the rest of my body. Was I hyperventilating? Probably. I wondered if B suffered when 'they' shot him. Who were 'they', anyway? Was B in trouble?

I was locked in a cell, away from the world. It was cold in here, and I was possibly hyperventilating. What now?

I heard footsteps. They were just outside the door. Some clicks, some cracks, and then a loud 'pick' noise. The lock has been unlocked. Was I in trouble? Of course I was, but was I in a big trouble? I couldn't find the strength to be afraid, so I closed my eyes and let darkness wrap around me. If I was going to die, now was a good moment. If not, then…

I woke up with a horrible headache. Wasn't this wonderful? Every time I wake up, I'm suffering from a huge headache, and probably tied up by some insane psycho. I moved my wrists slowly, bracing myself for the pain, but when it didn't come, I opened my eyes slowly.

Now, where was I? I could tell it was a wood, and it was nearing nightfall, and it was freezing outside, but where exactly was I, and who took me here? Was I safe? Was I in danger?

I took a few experimental steps, wobbling on my feet, and I saw a flower. It was… a rose. I only saw this kind of roses in L's garden, so was I in the wood outside his garden? I checked my pockets, and jumped a bit when my fingertips brushed against a little piece of paper.

'_You can be grateful.'_

And I was. Whoever they were, they saved me. I wobbled a bit on my feet, and when they gave up, I started to crawl towards the mansion. It was cold here.

Drip, drip, drip. Rain poured mercilessly from the sky, washing my bruised body.

Drip, drip. It fell on the roses, making the auburn flowers look sad and desperate.

Drip. Loud yells, a feminine cry, bare feet in front of my face.

_It's what made me, saved me, drove me crazy  
Drove me away than embraced me  
Forgave me for all of my shortcomings  
Welcome to my homecoming  
_

L cradled me in his strong arms, bangs clinging to his forehead. He looked exactly like in our previous life, when we were on the roof. I didn't hear the bells, but did he? Rain poured from the sky, hitting my skin. Cold rain mingling with hot tears. It was cold out here. Was L cold?

_Yeah, it's been a long time coming  
Lot of fights, lot of scars, lot of bottles  
Lot of cars, lot of ups, lot of downs  
_

Did he miss me? Did I miss him? Did they miss me? Was B speaking the truth? Were they pretending? Was I pretending? Too many questions. I wanted to know the answers. Maybe another time. It was cold outside.

_I'm coming home  
I'm coming home  
Tell the World I'm coming home  
Let the rain wash away all the pain of yesterday  
I know my kingdom awaits and they've forgiven my mistakes  
I'm coming home, I'm coming home  
Tell the World that I'm coming... home_

Rain poured from the sky, making me shiver. L's arms were warm. Suddenly, it wasn't so cold anymore. And maybe, after the rain, I will finally know the answers. For now, I was home.


	28. Chapter 28

Chapter 28

_**Disclaimer: I don't own Death Note.**_

A/N: Thank you **violet - x3 stone**, for your reviews. Here's the B perspective, and don't fret, I'm doing more of these. And Light will have a lot of flashbacks, so... Anyway, I'm not good with writing about B ._. Sorry if you think it's horrible. Hope you enjoy c: ?

B P.O.V.

So they think I'm gone. Big mistake. B is never gone. I didn't die all those years ago, I didn't die last time, and I certainly didn't die now. You can't kill the son of a Shinigami.

Things went smoothly. Almost too perfect. The guy entered the abandoned building, waved his gun at me, shot something next to me and left. And Yagami fell for it. Poor kid, he's so naïve.

Something about that kid is nagging me. He's special, in a stupid way. He's as intelligent as my dearest Lawli-chan, he has the looks, the way with words, the acting skills and everything a guy needs. But he now has something in the last life he didn't have. A heart. Sure, he had the organ, everybody needs something like that, but he didn't feel anything. He was like me. And now that he has a heart, he has a consciousness. And that's dangerous. Now he's afraid that he will piss off somebody if he does something 'unusual', so he tries to be a saint. That's unacceptable. I need that kid to make my plans flawless.

So I tried to break him when he was in Japan. But Lawli-chan and the three helios of his were there for him. Then I tried to break him here. But…

_Flashback_

"_Such a shame. You are a nice boy, Light-kun, but you refuse to see life as it is. Guess I have to make you open those eyes. It might hurt…a lot."_

_It was funny actually. The way I was lecturing a teenager who took a second chance to help his relatives and friends. And what did I do in my existence? I mourned, I killed, killed again, burnt, suffocated, shot, punished and killed some more. _

_Look at the little baby in front of me. Adorable. He is breathing heavily, eyes closed tightly, muscles tense. Pale skin, amber eyes, auburn hair. Almost like a painting. I didn't like paintings when I was a kid. Guess I have to destroy this one too. _

_I touched his hair, messaging his scalp, rubbing his ears. He was disgusted, I could see it in the way he grimaced. Too bad, either way he was mine. _

_I lowered my head, inhaling his scent. He smelled like a forest in a rainy day. Girlish, but manly too. What was this kid?_

_My nose touched his cheeks, and his head jumped in surprise. Foolish boy, open your eyes! _

"_Open your eyes Light-kun. I want you to see. I want you to remember. I want you to reconsider, and join my side and cause. Open your eyes."_

_He refused, and I felt my jaw clinch in rage. How dare he?! I wanted to do this slowly, to teach him something, but he was the stubborn one! He will learn this the hard way then. _

_I ripped off his jeans and boxers, and entered him. Oh, God, he was tight as hell. Pain shot through him, while pleasure poured in my veins, and his eyes opened, letting me see his tears. _

_I leaned down, licking his earlobe. He shivered in disgust. _

"_You have to learn Light-kun. Look at me. I am doing this for you. Only for you."_

_He tried to close his eyes, but I slammed myself in and out, enjoying his ragged breath on my shoulder. His tears were shining in the dim light of the room, running down his cheeks, mingling with his auburn locks. The image was too much, driving me over the edge. White cum adorned his entrance, making him look irresistible. _

_He curled himself tightly, shivering continuously. He looked a lot like Lawli-chan. I thought he was going to fall asleep, but the sight made me smirk. _

_His eyes were wide open, amber eyes swimming in tears._

"_You are a quick learner Light-kun. Join my side and you'll never feel pain again. I guarantee."_

_And I left, slamming the door behind me. _

_End of flashback_

He was a fool. He continued to banter me, telling me he was not going to join my cause. Too bad.

I was too gentle with him. I always said next time. But now there's no next time. It's now or never. Enjoy your time with Lawli-chan while you can. Because when a Shinigami swears revenge, he means it. I smirked at the piece of paper in my hand.

Enjoy your time, Light-kun. Shine brightly while you can, because darkness is starting to engulf you.

I put the message near the rose-bush. I knew Light-kun was going to find it.

_Shine brightly Light-kun. But don't forget: you are mine, and I am very possessive. _

He was mine.


	29. Chapter 29

Chapter 29

_**Disclaimer: I don't own Death Note.**_

A/N: Gah, I completely forgot about the rating ._. This story is now rated M, so it's alright ^-^. Since you suggested putting flashbacks or P.O.V.'s about Light's time with B, here they are. And cute little ending with Sayu and Light c: By the way, the song is _**Hey Brother- Avicii.** _Thank you for reading, hope you enjoy c:

Light P.O.V.

_Flashback_

"_Scream for me Light-kun. Don't hold back. Scream."_

_His words were making me sick, and all I wanted was to crawl in the darkest corner of the room and stay there, glued to the spot. It was disgusting. Horrible. Terrifying. His hands were traveling all over my body, tongue playing with my earlobe, crotch pressed against mine. It took all my might to keep from gagging, praying it would be over soon. Who was I praying to anyway? Nobody seemed to listen to me. Was this a side-effect of my previous life? Probably. _

_His teeth cut through my bruised skin, leaving a bleeding mark. Eyes burning with the same bloody color, B leaned closer and closer, his breath hitting my face. It was gross. _

"_Don't hold back. Scream, or I'll make you."_

_He was slow. I wouldn't scream, not if my life depended on it. Which, in a strange way, it did. He sighed and got off me, giving me a small ray of hope. Will he let me alone, just go away? Just this time? Wrong. _

_I bit my lip, almost splitting it in two, gagging at the coppery taste that invaded my mouth. B played mindlessly with his knife, cutting me enough to draw blood and leave an ugly bruise, but not enough to give me a fatal wound. Sick bastard. It hurt. My body hurt all over, and the overwhelming need to scream was taking over. _

"_I said scream. Just scream already, Kami damn it! Scream I said!"_

_I bit my lower lip again, wincing at the sharp pain that shot through me. I won't let him hear me scream. Not now, not ever. _

"_You are a nasty kid, Light-kun. Looks like I have to teach you everything the hard way. Don't forget, you asked for it."_

_B pulled my trousers and boxers down and entered me. It hurt. It hurt, it hurt, it hurt! I didn't want any of it! Why didn't anybody save me? _

"_Do you know who was killed by the famous Kira? Do you? Oh, silly me, of course you do. You were Kira. Well, do you remember Naomi Misora?"_

_Warm, hazelnut eyes. Silky black hair. Soft voice, pale skin, rosy cheeks. Kind smile. _

"_So you do. Do you know who she was? Besides Ray Penbar's fiancé, I didn't like that asshole, so good job for killing him. She was the one that caught me in your previous life. She was not very intelligent, but she put the facts in the right order and caught me. I admired her. Not even the Great Detective L found out what the clues meant. In a way, she was my best friend. But do you know something? She wasn't L's friend. She was more like a sister to him, a dear sister, or a very close cousin. And what did you do? You killed her. You killed my best friend and L's sister. You are sick, Light-kun. You took her life, and she was innocent. She was pure. She wanted to marry Ray Penbar and have kids. She was a good mother."_

_And he went on and on. He stopped cresting my skin with his knife, but his words were putting more and more pressure on me. Of course I regretted killing her, she was innocent, she just wanted to avenge her fiancé! And I killed her…_

"_Oh, don't be sad Light-kun. I'm sure she suffered just a bit… Oh wait, that's not true. She died after she cut her wrists. Blood loss. She thought about what a great life she had. Eh, hard luck. The Great Kira killed her. Poor Naomi-chan."_

_I couldn't take it anymore. I closed my eyes, enjoying the darkness and screamed with all my might. I screamed until my throat was dry and my voice was raspy and hoarse. I screamed, covering B's booming laugh. And I passed out._

_End of flashback_

Toss and turn, toss and turn. Don't let sleep overtake you. I repeated these words like a mantra, hoping I wouldn't fall asleep. I didn't want to dream. I didn't want to remember.

I squirmed under the covers. It was too hot in here. I kicked the blanket aside and started to pace around the room. Why did I kill Naomi Misora? Was it because she scared me? Because she was intelligent, and she could tell L I was Kira? Was it because I slipped, maybe made a mistake? Why did I kill Ray Penbar? He was also innocent, he didn't have to die! What did I do?!

"Onii-chan?"

Sayu's soft voice made me jump in sudden fright. Calming my quickly beating heart, I sat on the bed and patted the spot next to me. She sat on the bed, leaning on me, putting her head on my shoulder. When did Sayu grow up? She was very tall now. She was beautiful, mesmerizing. Her eyes shone in the moonlight, soft chocolate pools covered by long black eyelashes. Rosy cheeks, full lips, soft skin. Almost like Nao-… No. I didn't want to remember.

"Are you okay onii-chan?"

"Yes."

"You are lying."

"Yes, I am."

"I don't like it when you lie. It doesn't suit you."

"Perhaps."

"Stop giving me these monosyllabic answers! Talk to me, dammit!"

"Language Sayu. Don't speak like that."

"Or what?! You'll kill me?!"

Ouch. That one hurt. Her high-pitched words hit me square in the chest, leaving me empty and hollow. Was she scared of me? What was she thinking right now? Did she think I was going to take a piece of Death Note and write her name down?

"A-ano… I didn't want to let that slip. I was just angry…"

She was nervous. She was scared. I was supposed to be her big brother! I was supposed to help her with her math homework! She was supposed to watch soap operas, to complain about school, to go out with her friends! She was supposed to have a family! I took everything from her, I left her with nothing! What kind of creature am I?

"I don't think you are Kira. You are just Light-o, my dear onii-chan. I'm sure we can work this out. Together. Like brothers. Don't you think?"

_Hey, brother, there's an endless road to re-discover.  
Hey, sister, know the water's sweet but blood is thicker_.

"Yes, I'm sure we can. You are my sister, no matter what. I will protect you. I will work hard to recover."

_Oh, if the sky comes falling down, for you  
There's nothing in this world I wouldn't do.  
_

"You are not alone. So stop suffering on your own. We are family, and we are together in this. After all, that's what brothers do."

_Hey, brother, do you still believe in one another?  
Hey, sister, do you still believe in love I wonder?  
Oh, if the sky comes falling down, for you  
There's nothing in this world I wouldn't do_.

"Promise me you'll let me there for you. Promise me onii-chan."

"I promise."

_Oh, if the sky comes falling down, for you  
There's nothing in this world I wouldn't do._


	30. Chapter 30

Chapter 30

_**Disclaimer: I don't own Death Note.**_

A/N: Hi there ^-^ Long time no see, but you know...school...anyways, this is the 30th chapter of this story, and I was thinking hard. I will let this chapter, so you can read it, and since I obviously suck at writing, I was thinking about deleting this story. I don't know yet, but anyways, ignore me and enjoy c:

L P.O.V.

"L, I found this. I think you should look at it."

"Thank you Watari."

I took the crumbled piece of paper between my thumb and index, trying to decipher the words. The words left a bitter taste in my mouth, their meaning hurting me. _Shine brightly Light-kun. But don't forget: you are mine, and I am very possessive._

How dare he?! Watari offered him a home and a family! Naomi offered him love! Even I tried to help him, bring him home. And he left, swearing to kill everything and everyone that tried to stop him.

Was he referring to Light-kun? Light-kun didn't oppose him, so what were B's true motives?

A soft knock snapped me out of my reverie, and I hid the paper under a pile of documents. Light entered the room, his usual impeccable attire wrinkled, eyes dull and messy hair. He started to look a lot like me, walking in a small slouch, hands buried in his trousers pockets.

"Watari told me you wanted to see me."

"Indeed. You see Light-kun…-"

He flinched. He flinched at the name, and didn't even bother to hide it. He looked horrified. I cleared my throat, trying to hide my tremor, and continued.

"-I talked with somebody we all know and love… and she agreed to see you and talk to you. So if you…-"

"So basically you think I'm insane. Alright… who is she, anyway?"

Not single hint of irritation or anger. He sounded resigned. Time to drop the bomb.

"From now on, everyday, you will see Misora Naomi for two hours. Behave nicely; she went through a lot of trouble to clean her schedule."

Light's face paled, than reddened, and then he glared one of his famous glares at me, turned on his heels and stomped out of the room. Watari entered the room, wearing a small proud smile on his face, with my heirs and Sayu in tow.

"You did well L. For a moment there, he looked like his old self."

"I bet Light's gonna' freak out when he sees Naomi."

"I bet Light's gonna' piss himself."

"I bet you will lose."

"You're on!"

Sighing at Mello's, Matt's and Sayu's immaturity, I accepted the plate full of cookies and cake from Watari.

Naomi P.O.V.

1 PM. Time to meet Yagami Light, ex-Kira. L told me how he killed me, my supposed fiancé, and other people. It's sickening. It's monstrous. It hurts to think Light went through this alone, scared and manipulated. It hurts to think he has changed, but his hopes has been shattered by mental and physic abuse. Time to mend a broken heart.

Watari showed me the way to Light's room, and I put my hand on the knob, trying to control my shaking hand by taking deep, shuddering breaths.

L told me he has changed, but has he?

I entered the room, bracing myself for something that never came. Sitting on the bed was Yagami Light, eyes wide and shining with unshed tears, body shaking with barely controlled sobs. I tried to say something. Anything. What can you say to somebody that chose another chance, knowing it will be hard for himself, just to help his dear ones?

"I-I… Can I… Can I hug you? Please?"

I looked at him almost dumbly. Here I was, a grown up woman trying to process his request. Hug me? Like in embrace me? Take me in his arms? Did he want to kill me? I mentally slapped myself, bad Naomi! The man in front of me wasn't Kira, he was just a teenager!

"Please? Onegai? I-I beg you, I just want to…I-I…"

I took him in my arms, holding him tightly, ignoring his gasp of surprise. I felt his arms shaking against my body, and tears soaked my shirt. I kissed his hair, inhaling his manly smell. He drew himself back and wobbled a bit, his legs shaky. I laughed at the image; he looked like a drunken frog. He sat on a chair and looked at me, eyes shining with happiness.

"I can't possibly thank you enough. I…I wanted to be sure you were here. I can't tell you how sorry I am for what I did…I…-"

"We will discuss about that later. I want to just talk to you now. Talk about… let's start with your childhood, shall we?"

"Childhood?"

"Hai, I believe that is the best place to start with. I want to hear everything about your childhood. We want to help you, Light. We really do. "

I watched as a haunted look passed over his features and the light in his eyes disappeared, leaving behind two dull orbs. His posture was slouched, reminding me of a very young L, and his fingers were shaking and itching to grasp something.

He looked at me with an expressionless face, then flashed me the saddest smile I have ever seen.

"When I was a little child, I liked fireflies. I really liked them. They were so little and a bit clumsy, and I always thought they carried the light after them with a purpose. I used to think the light was like a piece of hope. I grew up with this idea: that they were just like us, humans, carrying a piece of hope after them, fighting to protect their piece and shining in the dark."

I nodded dumbly, staring in his dull eyes, itching to hold him and protect him. Just like a firefly, he fought hard to protect his piece. But why then…-

"I think I lost my light, Naomi-san."

His words hit me with full force. He had given up. He lost his piece of hope, and now he had nothing to fight over. He was… purposeless.

"We can find it, Light…we can search for it really hard, and…-"

"It won't work. Once a firefly is separated from its light, it's of no use. The firefly lives enough to mate and lay eggs, but if someone separates it from its light, he dies like a useless creature. Once you are robbed of your hope, you die, don't you Naomi-san?"

"That's not true! You are wrong! You can fight to live on, to find your light! You, Yagami-san, are a coward! You were a mass-murderer back then, and now when you can finally have a normal life, you give up!"

"Perhaps. Thank you for your visit Naomi-san. I am happy that you are alive and well. Again, I am sorry that I killed you."

He dismissed me. The Light I have been told about was no coward. He would've at least put a fight and solve his problems. Exiting the room, I vowed I will work hard to bring light back to his eyes. I will find his light.


	31. Chapter 31

Second chances chapter 31

_**Disclaimer: I don't own Death Note**_

A/N: I saw the reviews and I nearly cried. You guys are the best! I will continue this story for you *cough and because B is going to kill me if I won't cough*. Actually, for those who don't know, B is another child from Whammy's, and he had the Shinigami eyes since he was born. He was obsessed with L, so he looks exactly like him. He left Whammy Orphanage and started to murder people. In the end, L caught him, and I think Kira killed him. Anyways, this is a little Near x Sayu thingy, since I thought they looked adorable together. Also, Matt and Near brotherly talk. The song is **Tom Hugo - Open up your eyes.** Hope you like it, enjoy c:

Near P.O.V.

"Is he _daydreaming?!_"

"I think so… I mean look at his eyes… quick, take a pic!"

The annoying chattering stopped, only to be replaced by the flash of a camera. Neanderthals.

"Heyyyy Neeeear~. Watchu'doin'?"

"He's not going to respond. I mean, look at him, he's too lost in LaLaLand."

"Near in LaLaLand? C'mon Mells, I understand he has changed, but… _LaLaLand? _I don't think so."

"Mattsy, I wear black leather, eat chocolate, look fabulous and sometimes kill people. And I'm gay. Still, I go often to LaLaLand. Why would Near be any different?"

"Because he's… _Near! _He's a smartass, and he probably has something stuck up his ass. He also likes toys and makes creepy figurines. Still, LaLaLand?"

"What's wrong with LaLaLand?!"

"Nothing! That's the thing! If nothing is wrong with it, Near won't care to investigate!"

"Would the two of you shut up. Your pointless chattering is making my deduction abilities drop by 30%."

"So you _were _listening!"

"It's pretty useless to ignore you, since the only way you know how to communicate is by shouting."

"But you still love us."

I scoffed at Matt's remark; love? Brotherly love? They were the closest thing to siblings, so I had to love them, but romantic love? Categorically not.

"Since you are my siblings, I have to love you. But I categorically don't love you in any other way."

"Is it because you already love somebody?"

Mello was smirking, obviously waiting for my denial, but unfortunately, my incredibly white skin took a slight shade of red. They call this blush? It's uncomfortable. I looked at my robot, trying to change the subject, but Mello's gasp and Matt's choked laugh made me sure this was going to be a long afternoon.

"You _do _like somebody! OHMYGOD MATTSY, NEAR'S IN LOVEEEEEE~! Let's get wasted, Near is officially a man!"

"I assure you I don't…-"

"Man, I'm so proud of you Near. I mean, look at you. You hit growth spurt, you look like a handsome bitch and you are in love. Mells, when did Near grow up?"

Meanwhile, Mello was busy crying his eyes off in Matt's t-shirt, being the overdramatic queen he was. I sighed in annoyance; there was no way I could escape now. Matt fished a cigarette and a lighter from his pocket; put the cigarette in his mouth, lit it, and took a few deep breaths, only to puff out the smoke.

"You will die if you continue to smoke like a sailor."

"Yeah-yeah. Mello will die of diabetics, like L, Light will die from his depression, Watari will die of old age, you will die because you will die, and Sayu will-…"

"Sayu won't die. End of the subject."

I winced at the harsh tone I used. I didn't yell, I didn't shout, and I barely spoke. Of course, when I did, I merely whispered. This was different. Matt's sarcastic tone about Sayu's death made me enraged.

Matt whistled, and Mello stopped crying, only to stare at me with unusually huge watery eyes.

" .God. You like Sa-…"

"I suggest you stop speaking."

"Nice catch, Snow White. How the heck did _that _happen?!"

Twirling a strand of my incredibly white hair, I thought about Matt's question. How did it happen? I wasn't attracted to males or females before, so why now? Of course, she was around my age, and she wasn't as stupid as she looked like. She was actually pretty intelligent. And unlike the two Neanderthals beside me, she didn't annoy me. Her unusually happy voice was somewhat soothing, and her hair looked really soft. Also, her orbs were different. They looked like normal brown eyes, but unlike usual brown eyes, her eyes shone, making them look like infinite chocolate pools. I wondered if it was possibly to drown in them. Maybe if you looked hard enough…

"Mells and Mattsy to Snow White. Yoo-hoo~. Are you in there?"

"There is no possible way to come out of here, unless I die. And I am clearly not dead, therefore your question makes no sense."

"Well, you're a man, but you still suck. Oh, look who's coming~."

"'Suuuuup?"

I waited for a few seconds. I wasn't annoyed by her unintelligent remark. I turned around, ready to greet her, only to stop dead in my tracks. Her bangs were swept to one side, like usual, but her hair was flowing all around, and it smelled like cherry blossoms and vanilla. Her eyes shone and her lips were forming a gentle smile. My stomach made strange turns, probably because of the 'butterflies' inside of me.

"Near, close ya' mouth, we don't want any strange insects entering."

"Oh, Matt, don't be such a jerk. Near, 's okay to let your mouth open, I like your teeth. They're white and nice."

Mello choked, steadying himself with Matt's frozen body. I smirked at the duo; they fell into our trap. I smiled a small smile at Sayu, who greeted me with huge, blinding smile, while clutching my slightly bigger hand in her small and delicate one.

Matt narrowed his eyes at us, and continued to gap like a fish while Mello was slightly paler, already on the brink of fainting.

"Oh, c'mon boys, you really didn't knew? I mean, Near's such a little bear and I'm like an energetic kitten. Bear+kitten…? Mello? Ohmygod, he's dying!"

I chuckled at the strange sight: Sayu was trying to fan Mello, while still holding my hand, and Matt was still staring at me, his eyes narrowed to slits.

Later that night, Matt was still glaring at me. Mello was just like a three-year old child, bombarding Sayu with questions, some of them incredibly gross, sometimes stopping to wink at me and smile a big smile.

I sighed and made my way to Matt; something wasn't quite normal, and it was stirring a strange feeling in me; something like guilt.

I cleared my throat, trying to ignore the lump that was forming in my throat. Matt wasn't helping either, glaring at me.

"I thought we were brothers."

I backed away a bit, staring at him. What did he mean?

"Clarify?"

"This is very important Near; she's your first girlfriend, and it's pretty obvious you like each other a lot, maybe even love. Still, you didn't tell us a thing. I understand that you are in your own little world, but we are the closest thing to a family, and I wanted to be there for you when this happened, to tell you I'm proud of you."

It was harder and harder to breathe, the lump in my throat suffocating me. I blinked away some tears; when did they appear? My legs started to get shaky, so I sat down, staring at my feet. I felt a big hand on my back, rubbing comforting circles, drawing me in a hug. I leaned into the embrace, breathing in the manly scent of Matt.

"You are an idiot Natey. You are my brother; therefore I want to be there for you, even if you don't. So stop ignoring me, because it hurts."

I took deep breaths, enjoying Matt's scent, and I nodded. His hand was still on my back, and it felt nice, to know that you are not alone; to know that you have a family.

I smiled at Matt, and he smirked back, then he fished his phone from his endless pockets, and punched some quick icons on the screen. A song started, and I nearly cringed at the choice. Seriously now, Tom Hugo?

"I love this song!"

Sayu's voice made me smile. Maybe the song wasn't that bad.

_You´ve got to  
Open up your eyes  
See what you can do  
Make your life perfection  
_

Sayu's head was propped in the crook of my neck, silently humming the lyrics of the song, making my chuckle; she was so childish. Mello was once again crying in Matt's t-shirt, while Matt smiled at me, showing me 'thumbs-up'.

_Open up your eyes  
She's right in front of you  
Waiting for some action_

Before I knew it, I leaned in, kissing the top of Sayu's head. She jumped a bit, and smiled at me a loving smile, her cheeks incredibly red. I heard a chuckle, and I smiled; indeed, Matt and Mello will always be there for me.


	32. Chapter 32

Second chances chapter 32

_**Disclaimer: I don't own Death Note.**_

A/N: I like this chapter. There is nothing I can tell you, beside I love you. All of you. Thank you for your amazing reviews. The song is **Vulnerable - Secondhand Serenade.** Hope you like it, enjoy c:

L P.O.V

I watched as the sun slowly died on the sky, leaving behind bloody clouds. Red sky. Red eyes. B.

Where was he now? What was he doing, thinking, plotting? Was Light-kun safe?

Light-kun.

The strong, extremely intelligent teenager. The boy who possessed incredible looks, the one who nearly drowned himself in charisma.

Not.

Since that dreaded night, when he was kidnapped near _my _house, he has changed. Radically. He has been raped before, by an unknown civilian. So why has he changed so much now?

Because he felt safe in my house. He felt safe surrounded by people who love him. He felt safe, and he was kidnapped.

I was drowning in guilt and pity. Maybe if I have been more careful with him. Perhaps I was supposed to help him, to be there for him. After all, that's what a friend does.

But I wasn't his friend anymore. We weren't rivals either. Then what were we?

Since our previous life, I wanted to catch him, I wanted to make him feel what I felt. And I succeeded. But what now?

Indeed, the strong teenager was gone, and now a shy, broken soul took his place. This wasn't Light-kun. Or maybe this was the real Light-kun. Maybe the strong façade was a part of his plan.

Too many options. It was a very difficult case for me, and for the first time, I wasn't happy about a new case.

A soft knock stopped the trail of my thoughts. I cleared my throat, ignoring the unusual lump that was forming. There was no need to shed tears. It was just how life was.

"Enter."

I nearly winced at my harsh tone. I was exhausted. For an insomniac like me, to be exhausted was something unusual, considering the fact that I couldn't sleep. But ignoring the fact I was drained from any energy, my heart hurt. I have been dreaming for the last days. Flashbacks of my previous life, or of a feminine voice saying I wasn't needed. It hurt.

The door opened, and Light-kun head popped in. I ignored his ruffled hair, his sweaty forehead and his tear-stained cheeks. I ignored his shaking hands and his shaking lower lip. What made my heart skip a beat were his eyes. His dull eyes. Just like a doll. Pale face, pale hands, auburn hair, dull eyes. Only now his eyes were pleading, swimming in tears.

My hand itched to take his, to stop him from shaking. I stopped myself. This was Light, ex-Kira. Or was he?

"Can I sleep here tonight?"

The question was somewhere between stupid and incredibly wise. He said it with the pleading tone of a five-year old, only he was asking me to sleep here. In my room. With me.

I nodded, and his shoulders slumped, before he dragged himself to the nearest armchair, before nearly falling in it. I hear my clock ticking, and I counted. One. Two. Three.

Three minutes. A short period of time, only it was the silence, the uncomfortable silence that made it look longer.

'plop plop plop.'

Hot, heavy tears fell from Light-kun's eyes, landing on his hands. My instincts screamed at me, screamed to take him in my arms, to shield him from the world, and from the pain.

I didn't embrace him. I didn't look at him. I merely made my way to the bed, before crawling in it and adjusting myself in my crouched position, thumb already present in my mouth.

"I like fireflies."

I jumped a bit at the sound of his voice. Small, sad, scared. Naomi-san told me about his love for the creatures. She told me about his story.

"I was just a toddler, and mother already died, so the Yagami family adopted me. It wasn't always about perfection. There was a time when they truly loved me, because I was simply me. There was some festival, and they took me to see the fireworks. Only it wasn't the fireworks that mesmerized me. There were countless fireflies. They were shining so beautifully, so…peacefully. It was really nice."

I didn't respond to his short monologue, and he sighed a bit before standing up and heading for the door. He looked defeated.

I surprised him, and myself, when the words left me.

"You are not invincible. Nobody is. Not the Great Detective L, not Light-kun, not Watari, nobody. It is our weakness. It is what makes us strong."

He turned his head, his expression surprised, and then cracked a little broken smile. I patted the place next to me, signaling him that he should stay with me tonight.

He made his way to my bed, and sat next to me. It was unusual, but not in a bad way. It was actually…comforting.

_Share with me the blankets that you're wrapped in  
Because it's cold outside, cold outside, it's cold outside_

For the first time, I was sure he was just Light-kun. Plain, simple Light-kun. Not ex-Kira, not Kira, not B's victim. Just Light-kun. He was next to me, his body shaking with the effort of controlling the sobs that were sometimes escaping him. He was lonely.

"I too like fireflies. There was a time when a spider was crawling towards me, and I was scared. Great Detective L was scared of a tiny spider. But then I saw the firefly. It was shining, making the spider run away from the light. They are saviors, Light-kun."

_Share with me the secrets that you kept in  
Because it's cold inside, cold inside, it's cold inside_

I was nervous. Why? I don't know. But Light-kun shaking next to me, and for the first time, I listened to my instincts. I cradled him in my arms, embracing him, shielding him from the bad memories. My arms shook because of the unknown emotions, and his whole body was shivering, hot tears wetting my collar. But it was alright. We were alright.

_And you're slowly shaking finger tips  
Show that you're scared like me so  
Let's pretend we're alone_

"Light-kun will always be my friend, no matter what. Maybe we will watch the fireflies together one day."

"I…I would like that, L…"

His voice was soft, and suddenly I wanted to hear him talk about anything. But the silence was comfortable, and I slowly rested my head on his, enjoying the warmth. He was here. He was with me. And he was mine.

When did I start loving him? There was another question without an answer. But it didn't matter. My heart was squeezing painfully at the thought that he may still be Kira, but no matter what, he was mine. And I was his.

He looked at me with scared eyes, and I gave in. I inched forward and pressed a soft kiss on his dry lips. Not a passionate, or lust filled one. It was just a little kiss, a little piece of my love for him.

"Please, don't close your eyes… I…I want to see your eyes, L. I don't want to see red eyes anymore."

So I didn't. I locked my gaze with his and stared as his eyelids slowly dropped and he fell into a deep slumber. Somehow, I fell asleep too. And it was my first peaceful sleep, keeping the teenager I loved in my arms.

A firefly passed our window.

_And I know you may be scared  
And I know we're unprepared  
But I don't care_


End file.
